


Watch Me Squirm

by TAFKAmayle



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anal Sex, Aquaphobia, Bad Decisions, Blood Kink, Blow Jobs, Breathplay, Butt Plugs, Choking, Clinging, Closet Sex, Collars, Coming In Pants, Coming Untouched, Crimes & Criminals, Crying, Dom/sub, Fisting, Gags, Gun Kink, Lack of Communication, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Name-Calling, Panties, Personal Growth, Poor Life Choices, Possessive Sex, Rope Bondage, Rough Sex, S&M, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:55:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 29,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26136880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TAFKAmayle/pseuds/TAFKAmayle
Summary: Jeremy is a very thirsty masochist and Ryan is a very eager sadist. Clearly a recipe for only the best situations to occur.TW: This fic contains a Ryan Haywood character.
Comments: 94
Kudos: 112





	1. Chapter 1

Jeremy swallowed as he watched Ryan. His leather-clad hands squeezed around the target’s neck tightly. His eyes were hard and cold, completely focused on killing the target with his bare hands. It was like Jeremy wasn’t even in the room. When it was over, Ryan stood up and tossed a key at Jeremy who almost fumbled it.

“Get the safe,” Ryan muttered.

“R-Right.”

Jeremy put the key in the safe and leaned in to listen the tumblers as he twisted the combination lock. He’d never been up close and personal for one of Ryan’s strangulation kills before. Jeremy was usually more of a blood guy, but choking was definitely on the table. Especially with Ryan. Pretty much everything was on the table with Ryan. Unfortunately, Ryan wasn’t picking up what he was putting on the table.

The safe clicked and Jeremy turned the key. It clicked again and he opened it. He emptied the contents into his bag and tightened the strap across his chest before joining Ryan at the window. Ryan tapped his earpiece.

“We’ve got it,” He grunted before tapping it again.

“Alright, get ready, guys,” Jack answered through their earpieces.

Ryan pushed open the window and ducked out onto the fire escape. Jeremy followed him, closing the window behind them. There was a still moment as they waited for Jack. Jeremy glanced at Ryan’s hands gripping the edge of the fire escape. He needed them. He needed Ryan’s hands on him, hurting him, fucking him up. 

He’d tried dropping subtle hints and basically shaking his ass in Ryan’s face. He even openly flirted with him, but nothing seemed to be getting through. Like Ryan was a brick wall. Except Jeremy would have an easier time with the brick wall. At least with a brick wall he could tape a dildo to it and have his way. 

Ryan’s hand moved off the railing towards him and he flinched. 

“Are you scared of me?” Ryan asked quietly.

_Yes, fucking absolutely! You’re terrifying!_

“Wh-What?” Jeremy sputtered, “D-Don’t be ridiculous.”

Ryan turned toward him and Jeremy’s eyes were locked with the cold, hard blues Ryan used when he killed someone. _Shit!_ Jeremy stumbled back as Ryan stepped toward him. He bumped the railing behind him, putting his hands up in surrender as Ryan cornered him. 

“You’re shaking, Jeremy,” Ryan commented casually.

“‘S just a bit cold, right?” Jeremy chuckled nervously.

“You’re also sweating,” Ryan countered.

“M-Maybe I’m sick?” Jeremy offered.

“Maybe,” Ryan conceded, “Or maybe you’re terrified I’ll strangle you to death like I just did the target.”

“M-Maybe,” Jeremy stammered, “M-Maybe I’m-I’m just unnerved? I-I’ve never seen you do that before. N-Not that close anyway.”

“Maybe,” Ryan repeated, leaning into his space, “And maybe I like that you’re scared.”

Jeremy could feel Ryan’s body heat washing over him like he was a bonfire. _How much and in what way?_ He wanted to ask. Ryan gripped his shirt suddenly and hefted him up and over the fire escape railing. Jeremy flailed, gripping at his wrists as he dangled over the edge. 

“R-Ryan, wh-what’re you doing?!” He demanded, voice higher than he was proud of.

“Watching you squirm,” Ryan answered coolly.

Jeremy had to swallow down a moan as he tried to get his feet back on the fire escape. Before he could, Ryan broke his grips on his wrists and dropped him. Jeremy let out a surprised shout as he fell.

_Thump!_

He grunted as he landed on the roof of the van. 

_Thump!_

He jolted as Ryan landed over him.

“You’re so fun, Jeremy,” he murmured, blue eyes sparkling, “Let’s play again some time.”

_What the fuck does that even mean??_

~

“Let’s play again some time” apparently meant “Let me throw you off another high up place”. This time it was a helicopter. 

“Alright, Ry, Jer, out you go!” Jack shouted into the headset.

“Are you crazy?!” Jeremy demanded, “No, no fucking way!”

“Don’t worry, you’ll survive!” Jack assured him before adding quietly, “Probably.”

“You’re insane!” Jeremy shrieked.

Ryan’s hand gripped his shirt and shoved. Jeremy stumbled backward, wobbling over the edge and gripping Ryan’s arm.

“Don’t!” He shouted at the cold blue eyes.

Ryan pushed and Jeremy slipped off the edge with a terrified squeak. 

“I can’t swim!” He shouted as Ryan stepped out of the helicopter. 

He practically jumped into Ryan’s arms, screaming shrilly as they fell. Ryan was laughing, chest rumbling against Jeremy’s as his arms closed around him. 

“Asshole!” Jeremy cried right before they hit the water. 

Having no idea what else to do, Jeremy just held tightly to Ryan. Ryan kept them above water, still chuckling.

“You’re so fun,” he repeated.

“I don’t want to do that again,” Jeremy huffed.

Though his boner begged to differ. Apparently it enjoyed Ryan nearly killing him. Enjoyed the sadistic pleasure Ryan was getting out of it. And, like a normal, healthy boner, enjoyed the close physical contact. Ryan pulled him out of the pool and Jeremy shook as he hauled him to his feet. 

“You’re scared again,” he pointed out.

“M-Maybe,” Jeremy mumbled, “M-Maybe I’m j-just cold from the dip in the pool.”

“Maybe.”

Ryan gripped his chin and lifted it. His cold eyes were back, framed by the running black greasepaint. 

“But your eyes are dilated,” he commented, “So maybe you’re scared.”

_Yes, I’m fucking terrified and I have the biggest fucking boner right now!_

“M-Maybe,” Jeremy relented.

“I can’t wait to make you scream like that again,” Ryan spoke softly.

Jeremy was sure the heat in his pants was going to evaporate the water right off him. _Fuck. Yes. Ryan._ Jeremy practically whimpered as Ryan pulled away from him to move on to the actual job that wasn’t making Jeremy scream. Who cared about anything else though? 

~

Making Jeremy scream entailed trying to drown him again. Ryan had apparently clued into his fear of water and thus decided holding him over the side of the yacht was perfect. 

Jeremy was a bit tipsy, staring out at the sunset as he leaned on the railing. The others were celebrating and he’d joined in, but he always withdrew after a bit. Being the fifth wheel for Geoff, Jack, Michael, and Gavin was tiresome. 

“Hey, Jeremy.”

Jeremy jumped in surprise as Ryan stood next to him.

“When did you get here?” Jeremy wondered.

He rarely ever hung around when the others were celebrating. 

“I’ve been here a while,” Ryan answered, “I was below deck.”

“Oh, okay.”

Jeremy sighed as he looked back out at the disappearing sun.

“You ever wonder what normal people see?” He mumbled.

“What do you mean?” Ryan grunted.

“I mean, why don’t I feel good when I look at a pretty view?” Jeremy murmured, “What do they see that makes them enjoy this so much?”

“I think aesthetic beauty is pleasing to normies,” Ryan muttered, “Because it helps them forget the ugly in the world. Like object permanence. They can’t see it, so for a moment they forget it exists. But we can’t escape the ugly, because we _are_ the ugly. So we find beauty in other ugly things.”

“Must be why danger turns me on,” Jeremy snorted.

He was seized suddenly and hoisted up over the railing. He flailed as Ryan held him out over the water. He scrambled to grab Ryan’s forearms.

“R-Ry!” He shrieked, “Y-You know I can’t swim!”

“Yes, it would be easy to kill you,” Ryan commented.

Jeremy squeezed his forearms tightly. _Goddamnit, Ryan!_ Ryan’s cold blue eyes were sending shivers down Jeremy’s spine. He was shaking, struggling to try to get his feet on the railing. Ryan stepped forward to hold him out further.

“Are you scared, Jeremy?” He asked softly.

“M-Maybe!” Jeremy squeaked.

“I want you to be scared, Jeremy,” Ryan murmured, “I want you to be terrified.”

“I am!” Jeremy cried, some part of him breaking, “I’m so fucking scared of you! Fuck me up! Please, hurt me!”

“I will, Jeremy,” Ryan assured him gently, “Now let go of me.”

Jeremy let go and so did Ryan. Jeremy screamed as he dropped. 

_Thump!_

He grunted as he landed in a boat. 

_Thump!_

Jeremy stared up at Ryan with wide, teary eyes. Ryan smiled down at him.

“You’re so pretty when you’re scared, Jeremy,” he whispered.

Jeremy swallowed as Ryan leaned down over him. Their faces were close. 

“R-Ry, I-“

“Hey, are you two okay??” Jack shouted down at them.

“Y-Yes!” Jeremy called back, “I slipped. We’re fine!”

Ryan hauled him to his feet and gestured at the ladder. They climbed up and Jeremy did his best to stop shaking so badly. 

“S-Sorry I worried you,” he mumbled, “I can’t swim, s-so I...s-sorry.”

The others all assured him it was fine.

“I think it’s best if you go to bed now, Jeremy,” Ryan suggested, “You’ve had enough excitement for one day.”

Jeremy nodded shakily and went to his room below deck. He didn’t even try to stop himself from jerking off. Thinking of Ryan’s cold eyes watching him flail, thinking of him promising to hurt him, thinking of him calling him pretty. It was easy to come, but difficult to stop shaking.


	2. Chapter 2

Working with Ryan became nearly impossible. Jeremy was jumping every time he moved. He was avoiding the edges of an high up places as well. Which was difficult considering he was the resident acrobatic burglar. He was getting to the point where he was hard more than he wasn’t, waiting for Ryan to attack him. 

And Ryan was no help. In fact he seemed to enjoy it more than ever. He kept grinning at him when he flinched and watching closely while he squirmed. He was even evolving into touching him and whispering terrifying things to him like “I bet your blood is pretty” and “I love how you scream”. The more he scared him, the harder Jeremy got, and the more difficult it got to ignore that he _needed_ this to resolve in some way. 

So when the muzzle pressed to the back of Jeremy’s head, he sighed with relief. 

“Do you trust me?” Ryan whispered.

“I-I trust you,” Jeremy assured him.

“Good, now drop your pants,” Ryan ordered.

Jeremy hesitated, glancing at the door of the armory. The gun pressed hard on his skull.

“Do not test my patience, Jeremy,” Ryan warned.

Jeremy fumbled with his belt and jeans, quickly pushing them off his hips. 

“Oh.”

Jeremy wasn’t sure why, of all things, his choice in underwear would surprise Ryan. 

“Do you always wear thongs?” He wondered.

“Uh, n-no?” Jeremy answered, a bit nervous with not being able to see Ryan’s face, “Do you...like it?”

“Yes, wear them more,” Ryan instructed.

Jeremy jumped a bit as Ryan’s fingertips brushed over the edge of the thong, across his ass to his hip where he hooked a finger under the fabric and pulled it away slightly. 

_Snap!_

Jeremy jolted when the fabric snapped lightly as Ryan let go of it. He pressed close, putting his lips near Jeremy’s ear as he shifted the gun to rest against Jeremy’s temple.

“In case you were wondering how to please me,” he breathed, “I’d love to see you wearing blue for me.”

Jeremy swallowed thickly. _Fuck. Okay, so it’s not just scaring me. Okay. That’s good...Probably._ Ryan’s hand ran over his hip to his crotch, which he cupped and squeezed lightly. Jeremy shuddered, biting his lip.

“You’ve been so scared, Jeremy,” Ryan whispered in his ear, “But so patient, waiting for me. You are such a good little target. It’s been so hard waiting for the right moment. You’re so delectable when you’re scared.”

 _Oh god._

“Hold still,” Ryan murmured before he withdrew. 

Jeremy held still as the gun was pulled away and Ryan’s hands took hold of his underwear. He ripped it. He gripped it in both hands and tore it like the fabric was made of tissues. And it definitely wasn’t. Jeremy paid a good price for underwear that wouldn’t rip from the vigorous things he was up to all the time. But Ryan ripped it like it was nothing. 

Once it was torn off him, the ruins were pressed to his mouth and he parted his lips to let them get stuffed inside. He moaned around the fabric, struggling to hold still and not shove his ass out for Ryan’s use.

“You need to stop you tap the table,” Ryan ordered, “Now nod if you understand.”

Jeremy nodded. Ryan pushed him down over the table and shoved his shirt up where it bunched up around his armpits. 

“Flat on the table,” he instructed, “Hands and face too.”

Jeremy complied quickly, uncurling his fists and turning his head sideways. The table’s surface was cool against his flushed cheek and he relaxed against it. Ryan ran one gloved hand down his back to his ass where he squeezed tightly. 

“Goddamn, your ass is nice,” He breathed.

Jeremy wanted to know why the hell _that_ made him blush when his own underwear in his mouth hadn’t. Ryan rubbed his fingers over his asshole, like he was feeling him rather than intending to do anything. He shifted and made an annoyed sort of humming noise before he gripped Jeremy’s hips and pushed him up higher on the table, forcing him into his toes.

“There we go,” he muttered, “Now you’re at the right height.”

Jeremy knew why _that_ made him blush. Now when Ryan rubbed his fingers to his asshole he pressed a bit, seeming to indicate he would penetrate him. Jeremy whined through his nose. _Get on with it!_ He only regretted the impatience a little (not at all) when Ryan shoved two fingers into him. He cried out, rocking against the table as Ryan quickly started thrusting his fingers back and forth.

“Wow, you barely tensed,” He commented, “You’re actually a loose little whore.”

Jeremy moaned, boots scraping on the concrete as he tried to push his ass up and out better. He was only vaguely aware of his cock rubbing against the edge of the table he was so focused on his ass. _Fuck me!_ Ryan seemed to hear this demand and was willing to oblige. 

Jeremy wanted to lift up as he heard the clinking sound of his belt being undone. He wanted to see what Ryan’s dick looked like, but he was told to stay flat on the table. After two tearing sounds and some shuffling, lube smeared over Jeremy’s asshole as Ryan rubbed the head of his cock against him. Jeremy almost whined again at the slowness, but Ryan pushed in before he could. 

Jeremy groaned as Ryan pressed into him. Quick, but not necessarily forcing. Jeremy’s knees bowed outward, his feet twisting sideways as he tried to open up more to Ryan. He was wide and Jeremy wasn’t really prepared enough, but the burning and stretching only made him moan more around his own underwear. His fists curled up and his head turned to rest his chin on the table as Ryan pushed flush against him. He whined out a moan and the muzzle pressed back against his head.

“I said flat, Jeremy,” Ryan growled.

Jeremy quickly and carefully put his face and hands flat on the table. Ryan gripped his shoulder with his free hand and pulled back before thrusting forward sharply, jostling Jeremy against the table. Jeremy whimpered, his spread legs flexing with each of Ryan’s slow, sharp thrusts. It was like he was reveling in them hurting Jeremy, completely uninterested in actually getting off. Jeremy moaned, eyelids fluttering.

“Yeah, you like that, you little bitch?” Ryan huffed, “You like me using you? You’re right where you belong, aren’t you? Under me.”

Jeremy tried to nod, but the gun pressed to his temple forced his head to stay in place. Ryan’s pace picked up, moving into a steady rhythm.

“Are you scared, Jeremy?” He whispered breathlessly, “I could kill you.”

The gun pressed pointedly harder against Jeremy’s temple. Jeremy whimpered, his body shuddering and trembling. _He could. He could kill me._ Jeremy moaned again, body pushing into Ryan. Ryan’s pace picked up again and he angled downward to roughly rub over Jeremy’s prostate. 

“That’s it, baby,” He groaned, “Cry for me. Show me how scared you are.”

Jeremy cried out, sobbing as he shook in fear and pleasure. He was on fire, pulsing with the need to get off, the need to scream in terror, the need to do something about the loaded gun pressed against his temple. Just _need._ He needed more, needed less, needed everything, needed nothing.

_Click._

Jeremy screamed around the fabric in his mouth and jerked as the safety clicked off, coming, for the first time in his life, untouched. Ryan moaned behind him, slamming into him as he came. He flicked the safety back on and dropped the gun in front of Jeremy’s face to grip the table next to Jeremy’s left hip and pull the underwear out of Jeremy’s mouth. He was panting harshly as he laid over Jeremy, almost like he was trying to smother his body with his own. 

“Are you okay, sweetie?” He murmured, “You with me?”

Jeremy only shook and cried in response. Ryan reached between them to pull the condom off while making sure to stay mostly pressed against him and the shifting made Jeremy open his eyes. The clip of the gun was pointed at his face. Except there was no clip. The gun wasn’t actually loaded. Jeremy thought back to Ryan dropping him. He always landed safely. Ryan wasn’t actually going to kill him. He just liked to let Jeremy think he would.

Or maybe he assumed _Jeremy_ knew he wouldn’t actually kill him. Jeremy _hadn’t,_ but now felt almost bad about it. Of course Ryan wouldn’t kill him. Sadistic as he was, Ryan was still his friend, his crew mate. Someone who had saved his life before. Jeremy relaxed against the table as Ryan rubbed his hands over his hips and his sides.

“You back, sweet pea?” He mumbled, “Are you with me?”

“Y-Yes, I’m here,” Jeremy whispered.

“I’m gonna pull back to put us back together,” Ryan explained, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Okay.”

Ryan pulled back and did put them back together, doing up his own jeans and tugging Jeremy’s back in place before gently pulling him off the table. He sat on the floor, pushing Jeremy’s shirt back down as he pulled him into his lap. Jeremy snuggled into his chest and Ryan put his arms around him. Jeremy stared up at him, not sure what he was looking for. 

Ryan cupped his jaw, brushing his thumb over his cheek. His face was soft, his eyes gentle as he leaned down and kissed Jeremy lightly. Jeremy’s heart pounded in his chest like he was running a marathon. Soft Ryan was so cute and sweet. 

“Ryan?” Jeremy called softly.

“Yes, sweetheart?” Ryan answered, brushing his hand through Jeremy’s sweaty hair.

“I really trust you,” Jeremy murmured, “Anything you want to do, I trust you won’t seriously hurt me.”

Ryan stared at him a moment before his hand trailed down from Jeremy’s hair. His fingers brushed down over Jeremy’s beard to his throat, eyes following the trail.

“Anything?” He repeated, voice breathy.

Jeremy swallowed under his fingers.

“Anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this is normal and healthy.


	3. Chapter 3

“I lied!” Jeremy shrieked, gripping at Ryan’s jacket sleeve, “N-Not anything!”

“Oh?” Ryan prompted, “Are you not enjoying yourself, Jeremy?”

He looked pointedly down at Jeremy’s boner bulging through his jeans.

“Th-That’s beside the point!” Jeremy huffed.

Ryan bounced and the diving board wobbled under their feet. Jeremy let out a terrified squeak. How had he let Ryan convince him to come up here?? He was losing all ability to be rational around the man.

“Are you scared, Jeremy?” Ryan whispered.

“M-Maybe!” Jeremy squeaked.

“Tsk, it’s only been a few days,” Ryan tutted, “Did you forget already?”

He stepped forward, forcing Jeremy back a step closer to the edge and the board shook as bad as his knees.

“I want you to be scared, Jeremy,” Ryan reminded him, “I like what a crying little bitch you turn into.”

He stepped again and Jeremy let out a broken shriek of a sob as he stumbled back.

“Good, keep crying,” Ryan sneered, “Tell me how scared you are.”

“I-I’m terrified!” Jeremy cried.

“Drop your pants, Jeremy,” Ryan ordered breathlessly, “Show me how hard you are for this, you little slut.”

Jeremy fumbled with his jeans, keeping one hand on Ryan’s arm, terrified he would fall. He shakily pushed his jeans off his hips, wiggling a bit to let them fall. Ryan’s lips parted as he stared down at Jeremy’s crotch. 

“Did you buy that for me?” He asked quietly, “Or did you already have it?”

Jeremy blushed, looking away. He suddenly felt self-conscious and shoved the hem of his shirt down over his sky blue thong.

“I...I bought it,” He admitted, “Y-You said it would...would p-please you.”

“Stop hiding,” Ryan growled.

Jeremy let go of his shirt, clenching his fist next to his hip. 

“I am _very_ pleased, Jeremy,” Ryan murmured, “You are such a good little bitch for me. You take everything out of your pockets like I asked?”

Jeremy nodded shakily.

“Kick your pants over,” Ryan instructed.

Jeremy held tightly to Ryan’s arm with both hands as he pulled his bare feet from his jeans and kicked them over the edge. 

“Jacket too,” Ryan added.

Jeremy carefully pulled the jacket free of one arm, then the other, switching hands so he was always gripping Ryan’s arm. He dropped it over the edge as well. The wobbling diving board under him was absolutely the most terrifying thing to stand on above water. Why did people do this shit constantly? Why was _he_ doing it?? He looked in Ryan’s hard, cold eyes. _Because Ryan will keep me safe._ Ryan pulled something from his jacket and held it up. A stopwatch with three minutes on it.

“I’m going to start this timer,” Ryan explained quietly, “And if you haven’t come in your pretty panties by the time it goes off, I’m pushing you over. If you get overwhelmed, just say “pause”. Nod if you understand.”

Jeremy nodded and Ryan clicked the stopwatch. Jeremy plunged one hand into his underwear, still gripping Ryan tightly with the other. Ryan turned the watch away from him, which was worse than seeing it. Knowing there was a time limit, but not knowing what time he was at was way worse. Ryan bounced again and Jeremy squeaked, letting go of himself to grip Ryan’s arms with both hands again. _Exactly why did I think this was going to be that easy??_

“What’s wrong, Jeremy?” Ryan asked innocently.

“Y-You’re such an-an asshole!” Jeremy sobbed.

Ryan grinned widely at him. 

“Tick tock, Jeremy,” he reminded him.

Jeremy whimpered as he let go of Ryan with one hand again, getting it back around himself. 

“You’re so hot like this,” Ryan hummed, “Shaking and crying. I think if I was younger, I could come in my pants watching you.”

Jeremy shuddered at that imagery, shuddered at being praised, even if it was totally twisted praise. Ryan unclenched his fist where it was in Jeremy’s shirt and Jeremy whimpered, holding tighter as his movements faltered. 

“D-Don’t let me go, please!” He cried.

“You want me to hold onto you, Jeremy?” Ryan whispered.

“Please!” Jeremy begged.

Ryan’s hand moved and wrapped around his throat. Jeremy’s knees almost gave out and he moaned as Ryan squeezed lightly. 

“I thought you’d like that, you dirty slut,” Ryan huffed, “You’re running out of time. Better hurry and come like a good little bitch before I decide to toss you.”

He squeezed tighter and Jeremy’s moan echoed loudly in the indoor pool, bouncing off the concrete walls back at him. He cried and choked and moaned. He was so close. 

_Beep, beep, beep!_

Jeremy groaned as he came, knees almost giving out again.

“Times up,” Ryan growled, pushing him backward.

“N-No, please, I did it!” Jeremy cried frantically, gripping at Ryan’s arm with both hands again, “I-I came! Please! I-I did it, please!”

Ryan paused, looking down at where Jeremy’s thong was now filled with his own cum. He hummed, almost sounding annoyed, but backed up, walking a very shaky Jeremy back toward the ladder. Once they were on the more solid part of it, Jeremy’s shaking slowed significantly, though he was still terrified of being this high up. 

Ryan pushed him down on his back and tugged his thong off, wiping up most of his jizz with it. He pushed Jeremy’s legs up and rubbed his fingers over Jeremy’s asshole. He frowned, pushing Jeremy’s legs up further to look between them.

“You prepared before you came here,” he muttered.

“Y-Yes,” Jeremy admitted quietly, “J-Just...wanted t-to make it...easier.”

Ryan didn’t say anything else, just frowned down at Jeremy’s ass for a moment. Jeremy was starting to wonder if he was in trouble before Ryan moved again. He pulled a packet of lube from his jacket. He tore it open with his teeth which made Jeremy shudder. He rubbed lube between his fingers before slipping one inside Jeremy. 

“Don’t do that again,” Ryan murmured, “I take care of this part from now on, understand?”

“Um, y-yes,” Jeremy agreed shakily. 

“Good.”

Ryan slipped a second finger in him and spread them, working him open quickly and quietly. 

“Is this enough?” He grunted after a moment.

“Y-Yes.”

“Good, I’m tired of waiting,” Ryan grumbled, sitting back up to pull out a condom which he also ripped open with his teeth.

Jeremy got to see his cock this time, though really what he was expecting he didn’t know. It was pretty though. Pale, pink at the head. Wide. Jeremy’s mouth watered at the bead of precum that dripped down the tip. He almost whined in annoyance when Ryan covered it with the condom. 

“You enjoying the show, slut?” Ryan taunted as he rubbed lube over himself.

“Yes, very much,” Jeremy breathed, face flushing.

Ryan pushed up against the backs of his thighs in a hurry.

“You said your feet can go over your head,” He grunted as pushed inside Jeremy, “Sh-Show me.”

Jeremy was again uncertain why _this_ made him blush. He was so weird around Ryan. Blushing about the oddest things. He folded himself in half and Ryan groaned as he jerked forward, sinking in fully.

“Damn,” he muttered, “How far do I gotta twist you to break you?”

“P-Pretty far,” Jeremy panted as Ryan started moving.

Ryan pushed his legs apart to lean over him and Jeremy wrapped them around his waist. Ryan braced himself with one hand while the other gripped Jeremy’s thigh tightly. He thrust into Jeremy quick and sharp, face twisted up. 

“Goddamn,” he groaned breathlessly.

Jeremy wrapped his arms around his neck to hang on. Ryan’s eyes opened and he looked over Jeremy’s face.

“God, you’re so fucking pretty,” he huffed, “You take it like such a good little bitch. You like being my bitch, don’t you?”

He thrust hard into Jeremy, jostling him forward.

“Y-Yes!” Jeremy cried.

“Yes, what?” Ryan growled, thrusting him forward again.

“Y-Yes, I-I like being y-your bitch!” Jeremy sobbed.

Ryan thrust him forward again and Jeremy’s head dropped off the edge of the platform. He screamed, clinging tighter to Ryan who moaned and jerked forward. Jeremy’s shoulders slid off the edge.

“Ryan!” He screamed.

Ryan gently pulled him back from the edge.

“Shh, I’ve got you,” he soothed as he settled him in the middle of the platform, “I’ve got you, sweetheart.”

Jeremy clung to him, shaking and crying for some time while he ran soothing hands over his thighs and sides and whispering that everything was okay. After he’d calmed down some, Ryan helped him down the ladder and into a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Jeremy realized he had to have stashed the clothes before he brought Jeremy there.

“You alright, sweetie?” Ryan asked, taking his face gently, “You look out of it still.”

“Tired,” Jeremy mumbled, rubbing at his eye.

“You can take a nap here if you’d like,” Ryan offered.

“Yes, please,” Jeremy yawned.

Ryan gently led him over to one of the pool chairs. Jeremy tugged his jacket as he started to move away. 

“What is it, sweet pea?” He hummed, brushing a hand through his hair.

“You’d make a good pillow,” Jeremy murmured.

Ryan laughed and obliged him, laying back on the chair and letting him crawl onto him. Jeremy rubbed his face against his chest and smiled sleepily up at him. Ryan’s face was soft again as he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to Jeremy’s lips. Jeremy drifted easily, despite the sudden distressing question that popped into his head.

_Why does he only kiss me after?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ryan is such an asshole in this fic. 😅


	4. Chapter 4

Jeremy wasn’t going to talk to Ryan about like some sort of healthy, sane individual. He’d have to be a healthy, sane individual for that. And there was no chance of him being mistaken for a healthy, sane individual. He came in his underwear while being choked on a diving board that was at least a thousand feet in the air, he was pretty sure. Certainly felt like it was anyway. 

So _no,_ he wasn’t going to ask Ryan why he only kissed him after they fucked. Instead he decided he would kiss him outside of sex and let Ryan air out his grievances. This way Jeremy didn’t have to try to say anything. It absolved him of responsibility.

His first attempt was in the kitchen. Ryan was brewing coffee for some reason, despite not liking coffee that much and Jeremy decided this was a perfect opportunity. No one was around, Ryan looked like he was in a decent mood, wasn’t wearing any of the masks, and lord knew Jeremy would drop everything to kiss the man.

So Jeremy leaned toward him, starting to stretch up onto his toes. But Ryan misinterpreted his movements and shifted to the side as though to let Jeremy reach something on the counter. Jeremy, of course, panicked and immediately aborted, snatching up one of the fruits on the counter. An apple. He moved to the sink to rinse it off, trying to ignore how his face matched it in redness.

“What’re you brewing coffee for?” He asked in the awkward silence.

To be fair it was only awkward for _him._ Ryan had no reason to think it was awkward.

“Gavin,” Ryan answered curtly.

Jeremy frowned as he dried off the apple.

“Why are you brewing coffee for Gavin?” He wondered.

“He’s extremely busy,” Ryan murmured, “Poor kid’s to his neck in work from that lab we raided the other day.”

_Right._ Jeremy kept forgetting how capable Ryan was of caring for them. He thought back to the pool. He’d walked Jeremy through all the doors, having him test them for himself, so he knew they were locked. He’d assured him very firmly that no one would bother them and made sure Jeremy understood fully before sending him up the ladder. 

Then afterwards he’d let Jeremy snore and drool on him without complaint, only waking him when their time was up. He’d offered to make more time for him if needed, his tone suggesting he would threaten or hurt someone if he had to. Of course Jeremy was totally fine by then, but Ryan had made sure before they left.

He was really a kind man, even if he loved torturing people. He liked to torture Gavin too. A lot more than he really should. Gavin wasn’t like Jeremy though. Gavin didn’t like it. Did he? Ryan was suddenly behind him, mouth pressed against his ear.

“What color are you wearing today?” He whispered.

Jeremy blushed and swallowed thickly.

“N-Navy blue,” he mumbled.

Ryan leaned back a bit and tugged the waistband of Jeremy’s jeans as though to check that he wasn’t lying. He hummed his approval then groped Jeremy’s ass roughly.

“Don’t be jealous,” he purred in his ear, “You’re my favorite little slut.”

He smacked Jeremy’s ass before moving away, retrieving the coffee and exiting the kitchen. Jeremy was annoyed that he was still blushing, annoyed that Ryan had read him so easily, and especially annoyed that Ryan had such a massive effect on him. He felt like a stupid blushing virgin around him. And while he _was_ stupid and blushing, a virgin he definitely was not. He hated feeling inexperienced after all he’d been through.

After that spectacular failure, he tried again later that day when they left for a job. Ryan had sat on the hood of his car as they waited and Jeremy thought this was perfect. If Ryan told him he absolutely hated it and never wanted to see him again, Jeremy would only have to be depressed in silence for a little while until the person they were meeting showed up. 

He hopped up on the hood next to him and turned toward him. One fatal flaw: Ryan was wearing the mask. Aka, Jeremy was an idiot. Ryan’s head turned to look at him and he imagined he was raising an eyebrow, wondering why Jeremy was turned toward him. 

“Why do you wear the mask?” Jeremy blurted.

Ryan looked away from him, pulling a knife to play with. Jeremy realized he was nervous about the question. _Hesitant._ Jeremy opened his mouth to apologize, but Ryan answered before he could.

“It’s a shield,” he muttered, tossing the knife up and down, “No, that’s not quite right...it’s a...bubble. It keeps me contained.”

“Contained?” Jeremy prompted, frowning.

“Yes...it’s hard to explain,” Ryan murmured.

He put the knife away and tugged off one of his gloves, turning slightly towards Jeremy. 

“I’m a writhing mass of darkness,” He spoke quietly, wiggling his bare fingers, “But when I put on the mask-“

He pulled the glove back on.

“-it contains the writhing,” he continued, clenching his hand into a fist, “Condenses and focuses it. Then I can use it.”

He threw his fist at Jeremy’s face. Jeremy flinched, but the blow didn’t land. He looked in Ryan’s eyes.

“I can _control_ it,” Ryan added softly.

Jeremy frowned, looking at the fist in his face. 

“Then...how do you control yourself when you’re not wearing it?” He wondered.

Ryan’s fist unclenched and his hand jerked toward him, gripping Jeremy’s throat and pulling him forward.

“I don’t,” he whispered, “You, of all people, should know that, Jeremy.”

Jeremy gripped Ryan’s wrist, frown deepening.

“But...you aren’t...” he mumbled, trying to come up with the right words.

_You’re always in control when we fuck. You never go too far. And you always treat me so good after._ Or he had so far. Jeremy supposed two incidents weren’t a lot to go on. 

“How much time do we have?” Ryan breathed, “Three minutes?”

Jeremy started to say “who cares, let’s do it anyway”, but a car was pulling up. Jeremy jerked his chin towards it and Ryan looked, releasing his throat.

“Hmph.”

Jeremy agreed with that sentiment. Also he fucked up his attempt at kissing again! He was like a teenager trying to kiss his first boyfriend. But he was determined now. He could do it. He’d kissed loads of people before, he could totally do it. He was not inexperienced. This should be very easy.

After they pulled into the garage after the job and parked, Ryan turned to leave, but Jeremy gripped his jacket and pulled him back. He grabbed the edge of the mask and yanked it off Ryan’s face. This got an immediate reaction that unfortunately wasn’t the one he was going for. Ryan pushed him away.

“Not here,” he muttered, “The others could walk in. We can play later, after work.”

Ryan left the car while Jeremy squeezed the steering wheel tightly. _Damnit, I just want to kiss you!_ Ryan was misinterpreting his actions. He needed to be clearer. _Tomorrow._ He was exhausted from today.

~

Jeremy was going to give Ryan a good morning kiss. He was going to say good morning, grab his jacket, and yank him down into a kiss so there could be no more doubts about what he was trying to do. He found Ryan chatting with Michael in the kitchen and wanted to scream in frustration.

“Ry, can I talk to you?” He grumbled.

“Sure.”

“I meant privately,” Jeremy clarified.

“Is it important?” Ryan grunted.

Jeremy clenched his fists. 

“It is to me,” he muttered.

“Okay.”

Ryan followed Jeremy to the storage room and Jeremy turned to him, trying to steel himself for this, for the possible rejection.

“Listen, Jeremy, it’s okay,” Ryan murmured, “You don’t have to say anything, I understand.”

Jeremy frowned. 

“Er, understand what exactly?” He asked.

“I understand why you didn’t want to see me after work,” Ryan answered, “I’m not upset at you or anything. I’d have preferred you told me though. I was waiting for a while before I realized you’d gone home.”

“Oh god!” Jeremy exclaimed as he recalled what Ryan had said in the car, “I wasn’t even thinking about that! I completely-!”

He gripped Ryan’s hands.

“Ryan, I’m so sorry!” He cried, “I didn’t mean to ditch you! I’m sorry! I was so tired and stressed out! I’m so sorry!”

“Oh.”

Ryan suddenly pushed him up against a shelf. 

“Then I can keep playing with you?” He murmured, hands squeezing Jeremy’s hips.

Jeremy shuddered and swallowed.

“Y-Yes,” he squeaked.

“The door’s locked,” Ryan announced.

Before Jeremy could react or question that, he hoisted him up by his ass and Jeremy let out a squeak of surprise, wrapping himself around him automatically. Usually when Ryan hoisted him up it was to dangle him over a high up place, so it took him a second to realize that wasn’t happening. 

“What, too high up, shortie?” Ryan laughed.

“Asshole!” Jeremy grumbled.

Ryan just grinned at him. _Now,_ Jeremy’s mind prompted. Jeremy took Ryan’s face in his hands and kissed him firmly. Ryan stiffened and Jeremy pulled back hesitantly. Ryan was looking up at him with confused, worried eyes.

“Is kissing... _allowed?”_ He murmured hesitantly.

Jeremy frowned.

“Uh, yeah?” He grunted, “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Ryan smashed his mouth on Jeremy’s, pressing him against the shelf behind him. _Oh, he thought **I** didn’t want to kiss **him**. _Jeremy’s head was spinning as Ryan mouthed at his lips. _Idiot! Of course I want to kiss you!_ He pressed back urgently to show him just how much he wanted to kiss him. Ryan dropped his ass on a shelf to fumble with his jeans. He pulled back as he tugged them down, presumably to check what color underwear he was wearing. He squeezed Jeremy’s hips.

“How many new ones did you buy just for me?” He murmured.

Jeremy blushed.

“31,” he admitted quietly.

Ryan slammed his mouth back against Jeremy’s as he lifted him back up to yank the cobalt fabric out of his way. He was holding Jeremy around the small of his back and Jeremy was folded up like an accordion while he dug in his jacket for lube. 

“Fucking Christ, look how you fold,” He muttered against Jeremy’s mouth, “Sorry, I gotta put you down.”

Jeremy wasn’t going to complain, his back was hurting from being pressed into the shelf. He dropped down and shoved his pants and underwear down further while Ryan refused to let their lips part for longer than a few seconds. He reached around Jeremy to finger him and Jeremy gripped at his shirt, moaning in his mouth as he pressed a lubed finger in him. 

He wobbled, feet twisting to the sides and knees bending as he tried to sit on Ryan’s hand, tried to get more in him faster. Ryan took his silent cues and quickly worked up to two then three, thrusting deeply. Jeremy was panting and trembling. 

“R-Ry,” He stammered against his lips.

“You’re ready?” Ryan murmured.

“Y-Yes, yes, please!” Jeremy cried.

Ryan stepped on his jeans and underwear around his ankles and Jeremy took the hint to pull his feet free. Ryan fumbled with his belt and pants, still apparently unwilling to stop kissing for very long. His lube-covered fingers also fumbled with a condom at which point Jeremy shoved him back slightly, took the condom and tossed it across the room. Then he gripped the shelf behind him, lifted his legs, wrapped them around Ryan, and yanked the man close again. 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Ryan groaned as he stumbled forward from Jeremy’s yanking.

He managed to get a hand around himself and guide into Jeremy’s ass before Jeremy felt the need to do that part too. He wrapped an arm around the small of Jeremy’s back again and gripped the shelf with his other hand. His hips jerked forward as he yanked Jeremy down on his cock, slamming them together hard enough to rattle the shelf behind them. Jeremy wrapped his arms around his neck.

“Y-You okay?” Ryan huffed.

“I-I’m okay,” Jeremy groaned, though he _was_ in pain, “Move!”

Ryan _did_ move, rocking slowly back and forth, thrusting deeply. He moaned and panted in Jeremy’s ear.

“God fucking damnit,” he groaned, “You feel so fucking good.”

He shuddered.

“You’re my little slut, aren’t you?” He huffed, “I can take you whenever and you’ll love it, won’t you?”

“Y-Yes, yes!” Jeremy groaned, “Y-You can h-have me when-whenever you want!”

“Yeah, I can, can’t I? ‘Cause you’re my little bitch,” Ryan growled, thrusting Jeremy hard against the shelf.

Jeremy whimpered and moaned, his head dropping back from the sudden rougher thrust.

_ Smack! _

Jeremy jumped as Ryan’s hand landed on his bare ass.

“I’m finally gonna punish you for all those times you teased me,” Ryan sneered, thrusting sharply again, “Joking about sucking my dick and bending you over like I’m a man to be fucking trifled with.”

_ Smack! _

Jeremy moaned, hips rolling. 

“You’re gonna make good on all your offers, you filthy little whore,” Ryan snarled, his thrusting picking up, “And I’m not letting go of your ass until you have. You know why?”

“B-Because I-I’m your bitch,” Jeremy whimpered.

_ Smack! _

“L-Little, c-call yourself little,” Ryan groaned as he fucked desperately up into Jeremy’s ass.

“I-I’m your _l-little_ bitch,” Jeremy cried, burying his red face in Ryan’s shoulder.

“Fuck yes you’re mine,” Ryan panted right in Jeremy’s ear, “Mine. I’m gonna f-fucking come deep inside your loose ass because you’re my filthy slut bitch to fuck whenever I-I want. _Mine.”_

He growled the last word as he came, jerking hard into Jeremy. He wobbled, gripping the shelf tightly and holding Jeremy closely as he gasped in several deep breaths. Once he was mostly stable and breathing he leaned back slightly to get his hand around Jeremy. Jeremy whimpered as Ryan kissed his ear.

“Come on,” Ryan coaxed gently, “Be a good bitch and come for me. You can handle that much.”

Jeremy cried out as he jerked in Ryan’s arms and came. 

“Well done, sweetie,” Ryan praised as he slowly lowered him to the floor.

Jeremy gripped his jacket tightly and cried pathetically.

“Shh, you’re okay, sweet pea,” Ryan soothed, kissing his cheek and brushing his hand through his hair, “I’ve got you. I’m just gonna clean you up, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

Jeremy nodded, sniffling as Ryan pulled out wet wipes to clean him up. Once he was cleaned up, Ryan helped him up and back into his jeans. Then he kissed him lightly, holding him around the waist, pressing his forehead to his.

“You alright, sweet pea?” He murmured.

“Yes,” Jeremy mumbled, wondering why Ryan’s closeness made him blush.

“Mm, we should go back to work,” Ryan hummed.

“Work is for capitalists,” Jeremy grumbled.

“Then we should go back to playing,” Ryan laughed.

“That’s better,” Jeremy agreed, laughing too.

Ryan kissed him again.

“Let’s _really_ play again soon,” he suggested, “I barely made you cry this time.”

“You’re fucking scary sometimes,” Jeremy muttered dryly.

Ryan just grinned, almost looking proud of himself for that. _What an asshole._

~

Later the same day, the crew had a family meeting. Jeremy had no reason to believe anything unusual was going to happen in this meeting. Had no reason to believe the single most embarrassing moment of his entire life would occur in this meeting. 

“Ryebread, give me that flash drive, will you?” Gavin asked.

Ryan reached in his pocket and produced the flash drive around a wad of cobalt fabric. Jeremy went scarlet and covered his mouth as everyone in the room stared at his thong in varying degrees of shock. Then varying degrees of amusement. 

“I, uh, I can explain,” Ryan muttered.

Geoff was _done,_ absolutely howling with laughter, slapping his knee and rocking back and forth.

“Nice,” Michael commented.

“You have a girlfriend?!” Gavin demanded.

“No, I don’t have a girlfriend,” Ryan grunted, picking up the drive and stuffing Jeremy’s underwear back in his pocket, “A man was wearing that.”

“You have a boyfriend?!” Gavin corrected in the same level of disbelief. 

“No,” Ryan answered shortly, sliding the drive across the table.

“I’m not touching that bloody thing!” Gavin huffed, hands going up, “Clean it of your boyfriend’s fluids!”

Jeremy wanted to die.

“First of all, I told you, not my boyfriend,” Ryan grumbled, “Secondly, this one didn’t have jizz in it.”

_This one. **This** one!_ Jeremy suddenly remembered he’d lost the sky blue pair. He hadn’t noticed until he was already home and dumping his laundry in the hamper. He’d assumed it was in the pool somewhere, perhaps on the diving platform. 

But no, Ryan had pocketed it, hadn’t he? And the torn ones, had he taken that too? Ryan was hardcore avoiding eye contact with him and the lightest of pink blushes was on his cheeks. So faint it could barely be seen.

“I swear if my computer gets chlamydia, I’m revolting,” Gavin grumbled as he gingerly picked up the drive and plugged it in.

Jeremy was mortified and slightly offended. 

“Watch it, Free,” Ryan growled, “That sounded dangerously close to an insult.”

“Threatening over an implied insult?” Jack snorted, “You seem serious about this blue guy.”

“Serious as a 16 foot dive,” Ryan muttered.

Jeremy suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. _Great, he has jokes._  


Jeremy was absolutely mortified. He hadn’t even noticed he wasn’t wearing them. Truthfully he spent a lot of time going commando before Ryan had expressed interest in his under garments. Too much, probably. After the meeting, Ryan pulled him aside, pink-faced.

“I...was going to give them back,” he mumbled, pulling out Jeremy’s underwear, “I’m not...being weird about it or anything.”

“You mean you’re not sniffing them?” Jeremy laughed, pushing Ryan’s hand back toward him, “It’s okay. You can keep them, if you like them.”

Ryan squeezed his fist around the fabric before quickly stuffing it back in his pocket. His blushing nervousness was absolutely adorable. 

“Anyway, I-I have work to do,” he muttered, quickly moving around Jeremy.

Jeremy snagged his elbow and lifted onto his toes to kiss Ryan’s pink cheek. Ryan kissed his lips gently in return, smiling lightly before he left. _What a dork._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a loooooong chapter, but I just didn’t like it as two chapters, so here we are.


	5. Chapter 5

Jeremy again felt himself on high alert. Ryan had mentioned “playing” again, which meant Jeremy was probably going to end up being held over an extreme height or have a gun pointed at him. Possibly both. He was very excited to see what new game Ryan wanted to play with him. And terrified.

Ryan got an elbow to the face when he closed his hand around Jeremy’s mouth. He grunted, wrapping his other arm around Jeremy’s middle and pulling him tightly to him.

“Don’t struggle, you’ll hurt yourself,” he murmured in Jeremy’s ear.

Jeremy gripped his arm for support as Ryan dragged him backwards into a closet. He took Jeremy’s hand and guided it to the lock, having him lock the door himself. 

“If you need to stop, you tug on the light,” he ordered, moving Jeremy’s hand to the chain hanging above his head, “Nod if you understand.”

Jeremy nodded and Ryan let go of him, keeping his hand over his mouth but stepping back slightly.

“Drop your pants.”

Jeremy hurriedly obeyed, fumbling with his belt and shoving his jeans off his hips. He jolted a bit as a cold blade touched his ass just below the edge of his underwear. He shuddered. _Please fucking cut me!_

“Shirt,” Ryan instructed next, moving his hand.

Jeremy yanked it over his head and Ryan returned his hand to his mouth. The knife trailed up his ass to his back where it moved in curly patterns, but didn’t cut him. 

“Underwear.”

Jeremy carefully tugged it off his hips and wiggled a bit to let it drop. Ryan pressed a small bottle into his hand.

“I think you know what to do with that,” He murmured.

Jeremy quickly clicked it open and poured some lube on his fingers. He rubbed it over his asshole and shakily pressed a finger inside himself. Something about the darkness of the closet seemed to unnerve him enough that he was clumsy in the motions of something he’d done hundreds of times. The distinct feeling that Ryan could see while he couldn’t put a thrill up his spine and a shake in his hands. The constant moving of the knife on his back was secondary proof that Ryan was in complete control of the situation. 

Ryan grunted suddenly, shifting behind him and Jeremy was pretty sure he was putting away the knife. Jeremy frowned.

“I’m getting a call from Geoff, hang on,” Ryan muttered, “Don’t stop, but keep quiet.”

Jeremy flushed darker, ass pushing out as he considered Ryan punishing him for being too loud. Ryan’s hand tightened on his face and he stifled a low groan. 

“I said keep going Jeremy,” he growled.

Jeremy hadn’t realized he’d stopped, quickly moving his hand, adding a second finger.

“Boss?” Ryan greeted Geoff on the phone, “Now?...Yeah, I’m a little busy right now...Fine, send me the address...Don’t worry about it, I’ll handle it, but you owe me...Later.”

Ryan shifted as he hung up the phone. Jeremy whined in annoyance as his hand moved away.

“Would you be comfortable waiting for me?” Ryan muttered, “Or should we pick this up later?”

“How long are you going to be?” Jeremy grunted.

“Shouldn’t take more than an hour,” Ryan answered.

“I can wait an hour,” Jeremy confirmed.

“If I’m not back by then, you should leave,” Ryan instructed, squeezing his hips, “Don’t stay in here too long, okay?”

“Okay,” Jeremy agreed.

Ryan pressed his face into Jeremy’s neck, hands rubbing up Jeremy’s sides gently for a second, lingering.

“Can I...have your underwear?” He mumbled.

Jeremy couldn’t understand why this made him blush. 

“Oh, um, y-yes, if you want it,” he stammered.

He shifted his feet out of his clothes and Ryan crouched down to pick up his thong. He stood back up and kissed Jeremy just under his jaw.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can, sweet pea,” he murmured, “Make sure you’re ready for me.”

“Okay,” Jeremy squeaked as Ryan kissed his neck again.

One of Ryan’s hands was suddenly on his throat, squeezing lightly.

“But if you take care of yourself,” he warned lowly, “I will have to punish you, understood?”

“U-Understood,” Jeremy sputtered.

“Good.”

Ryan let go of his throat and stepped back.

“And lock the door behind me,” He added as he unlocked it and stepped out.

He looked back at Jeremy as the hall light streamed in the dark closet and grinned. Apparently he was very amused by Jeremy being stuck, naked in a closet with his fingers in his ass. Jeremy stuck his tongue out at him and he laughed as he closed the door. Jeremy locked it immediately and wrapped his hand around himself.

He was _definitely_ going to come before Ryan got back, because he _definitely_ wanted to be punished. Ryan hadn’t threatened him with a high up place now, so the punishment was one he’d take gladly, whatever it was. He could think up a million ways he wanted Ryan to hurt him. It was easy to come against the wall. He braced himself on it as he fucked his fingers into himself, panting from the orgasm. 

He had no idea how long it took Ryan to come back. It could’ve been hours he was in there considering his whole fist was inside him by the time the little knock came at the door. He was getting extremely impatient.

“It’s me,” Ryan assured him when he hesitated at the door.

He unlocked it and let him in, wobbling and falling against Ryan.

“Please, for the love of god!” He cried, gripping at Ryan’s jacket.

Ryan quickly ushered him fully into the closet, shutting and locking the door. He clicked on the light and turned Jeremy around to see him weakly fisting himself, body shaking with need despite his come all over the wall. Ryan gripped a handful of his hair.

“Are you deaf or dumb, bitch?” He growled in his ear.

“Dumb,” Jeremy whimpered.

“Yeah, you are, aren’t you?” Ryan sneered, “Like a dumb bitch in heat. You can’t control yourself. Well, dumb bitches need to be taught how to behave.”

Jeremy whimpered out a moan. Ryan shoved him forward, pushing his head down by his hair. He pressed his face against his own mess on the wall, letting go of his hair to shove his hand against his face, grinding it against the wall. Jeremy’s back arched and at this angle, he couldn’t keep his hand inside himself so he braced them both on the wall, flushing with shame and arousal as his nose was rubbed in his mess like a dog. 

“Dirty bitch,” Ryan breathed, “You like it, don’t you?”

Jeremy squeezed his eyes tightly closed.

“Y-Yes,” he squeaked, body burning in humiliation.

“God, you’re a freak,” Ryan muttered breathlessly.

His fist pressed up against Jeremy’s extremely loosened asshole. Jeremy moaned, rocking back to push his body onto Ryan’s fist. He groaned through his teeth as they pushed against each other. Ryan’s hand jerked forward, shoving inside Jeremy. Jeremy choked, body naturally rocking up and away, lifting him on his toes as it tried to run from what he was making it do.

“Oh god yes,” He gritted out through his teeth as he dropped back flat, bearing down in Ryan’s fist.

Ryan shifted and looped his unoccupied arm around his middle to steady him. Then he shoved his fist in deeper and Jeremy lost his breath, legs squeezing closed like that would save him. He was struggling to not hold his breath.

“Fuckin’ hurts, doesn’t it?” Ryan breathed in his ear.

His hand pulled back before shoving forward again. Jeremy gasped and choked on sobs. 

“This is what you wanted,” Ryan sneered, “You wanted me to come in here and fill you up, didn’t you, bitch?”

He thrust back and forth several more times while Jeremy shook and cried.

“What’s wrong, Jeremy?” He taunted, “Is this not what you had in mind? You want me to put something else in you, filthy slut?”

He pressed his mouth against Jeremy’s ear as his boner pressed against Jeremy’s hip.

“You want me to breed you like the bitch you are?” He whispered, “You want me to fill you up with my come?”

“Y-Yes!” Jeremy sobbed, “Please!”

Ryan shifted back behind him, letting go of him and slowly dragging his hand out of him to undo his belt and jeans. 

“Jesus, you‘re wet,” He muttered as he yanked off the glove that was just inside Jeremy, “Did you use all the lube?”

“I-It wasn’t that much!” Jeremy protested defensively.

Ryan laughed and Jeremy whined at him. He gripped Jeremy’s hips to line up, still smiling in amusement. Jeremy’s body was all keyed up now, squeezing around his cock as he pushed in. Ryan shuddered as he pressed inside quickly and easily. 

“Goddamn, you feel good,” he groaned in Jeremy’s ear as his hips started moving sloppily almost like he couldn’t control the urge to fuck him, “All warmed up for me. My slutty bitch nice and ready for me to fill up his greedy little hole.”

His hands suddenly slammed into Jeremy’s where they were on the wall, hips thrusting hard, lifting Jeremy up and nearly off the ground. Jeremy yelped at the sudden return of Ryan’s roughness. He moaned as Ryan slammed into him, causing his face to rub all over his own come on the wall.

“Clean up your f-fucking mess,” Ryan growled breathlessly, “You’re g-getting it everywhere, you sloppy whore.”

Jeremy pulled his head back slightly to lap up what was still on the wall.

“Y-You like that, baby? You like being my messy bitch?” Ryan panted, “You like being filthy for me? T-Turn your head the other way.”

Jeremy put his clean cheek to the now mostly clean wall and Ryan leaned in, tongue laving up the side of Jeremy’s face. Jeremy groaned as Ryan licked his face clean, barely faltering in his thrusting. 

“I could l-leave you here,” Ryan huffed, nipping at his ear, “F-Fill you up then l-leave you stuck in here until I’m ready to-to use you again.“

He let go of one of Jeremy’s hands to move his between Jeremy’s legs and wrap around his cock. Jeremy moaned, body flexing into Ryan’s harsh thrusts as his hand moved quickly on him. Jeremy felt the tension building up in his lower half and clutched desperately at Ryan’s wrist. _So close._

“Be a good bitch and come for me again,” Ryan breathed in his ear, voice almost gentle, “Come while I fill you up.”

Jeremy groaned through his teeth and came across the floor. Ryan immediately caught him as he slumped, looping both arms around him as he quickly and clumsily thrust against him. He jerked hard against him as he came then dropped to his knees, taking Jeremy down with him. He held him closely, kissing his shoulder while Jeremy had his usual post-orgasm cry. 

“I’ve got you, sweet pea,” he murmured between kisses, “You’re alright.”

_I know. I know I’m alright because you’re here. As long as you’re here, I’m okay._ Jeremy shivered and Ryan pressed closer.

“Let me clean you up, you’re freezing,” He muttered, rubbing his bare hand on Jeremy’s arm.

Jeremy nodded and Ryan quickly got out his wet wipes. Jeremy shivered again as he mopped him up and wondered when exactly Ryan had started carrying them.

“Do you want your underwear back?” Ryan offered as he shifted around to grab Jeremy’s jeans.

Jeremy shook his head and Ryan helped him back into his jeans and his shirt. Then he pulled him onto his lap, brushing a hand through his hair and kissing him lightly. Jeremy was shivering still, he couldn’t understand where the cold was coming from. Ryan shifted, taking off his jacket and wrapping it around him.

“What is it, sweet pea?” He murmured, voice filled with worry, “Why are you upset?”

Jeremy buried his face in Ryan’s chest, gripping his shirt tightly.

“I-I don’t want to-to be left b-by myself again,” he confessed tearfully.

“Okay, I won’t leave you alone again,” Ryan assured, pulling him closer.

_As long as you’re here, I’m okay, but if you leave..._


	6. Chapter 6

Jeremy was trying really hard to signal at Ryan that it was time. He kept standing entirely to close and grinning up at Ryan. Also dropping things nearby so he could bend over for him, slinging his jeans a little low so Ryan could see the blue edges of his underwear. Unfortunately, Ryan had turned into a brick wall again. Jeremy felt like he needed a pair of those lights they used on runways to signal to planes were to dock. But for Ryan’s dick and his ass. 

_ Right this way, Mr. Haywood. _

Jeremy was losing his mind. It’d been two fucking weeks. Well, almost. Eleven days. But now that he had Ryan docking in his ass on a semi-regular basis, he didn’t want to wait around for it. And maybe he was the tiniest bit afraid Ryan didn’t want him any more. Maybe he was just a little afraid if they went too long not fucking, Ryan would find someone else. He didn’t want him to find someone else. So he devised a plan. One that he really hoped wouldn’t come back to bite him in the ass. 

He put his underwear in Ryan’s pocket. 

Ryan liked his underwear and this was something he could do to signal he was ready to go again. Unfortunately, it _did_ come back to bite him in the ass, because of course it did, when Ryan yet again pulled it out in front of someone. This time it was Geoff and Jack as the four of them discussed a job. He reached in his pocket (which Jeremy had temporarily forgotten was the thong pocket) and frowned. He pulled out the midnight blue fabric, likely unable to figure out what unknown thing was in his pocket. 

Jack, who’d been talking, halted as the four of them registered what it was. Jeremy went red, covering his mouth again. Geoff burst out laughing again. Jack shook her head, pinching the bridge of her nose. Ryan stuffed the underwear back in his pocket. 

“Sorry, you were saying?” He prompted Jack, clearing his throat.

Geoff was practically on the floor. 

“Ry, I’m starting to wonder if you want us to know about your fetish,” Jack muttered.

“It’s not a fetish,” Ryan grumbled defensively, “And I definitely don’t. I can’t feel the fabric properly through my gloves so I don’t know what it is. It’s completely unintentional. I don’t go around showing my partner’s underwear to people. That would be extremely rude.”

That seemed almost directed at Jeremy, like he was trying reassure him that he didn’t mean to embarrass him. Jeremy felt a flutter in his chest.

“So who is this blue guy, anyway?” Geoff snorted, around laughter, “Two bonings. Must really like him.”

“This one was not from sex,” Ryan muttered, “Why are we still talking about this?”

“Not from sex?” Geoff grunted, “So what, you just like carrying his underwear around?“

Ryan hesitated and Jeremy realized he’d accidentally put Ryan in a delicate situation. Ryan couldn’t admit that they’d only recently taken residence in his pocket because then he’d be admitting it was one of the crew and there would be no doubts about who it was after that was revealed. Jeremy had a massive crush on him that anyone could see and in fact most of the crew had expressed sympathy for him since Ryan had been appeared oblivious to this fact. To keep their relationship secret, he would have to say he _did_ in fact like carrying the “blue guy’s” underwear around in his pocket. 

“He doesn’t know how they ended up in there,” Jeremy spoke up, “Because I was pranking him. They don’t actually belong to his partner.”

Ryan looked at him sharply.

“Sorry, last time was the first time I saw you anywhere near embarrassed,” Jeremy snorted, shrugging, “I couldn’t resist.”

“Jeremy, I’m in love with you,” Geoff laughed, gripping his shoulder, “You’re my favorite!”

Ryan grunted, sounding annoyed, but his glaring eyes pointed at Geoff instead of Jeremy.

“Wow, rude, I’m standing right here,” Jack grumbled.

“Please do not make a habit of this,” Ryan murmured, “Jack, please continue.”

Later Ryan returned Jeremy’s underwear briefly by suddenly gripping his face and stuffing it in his mouth. He’d locked Jeremy’s office door and backed him into it. He shoved him up on his toes and pinned his head back by the tight grip on his face.

“I was lying,” he spoke rough and breathless in Jeremy’s ear, “Put your underwear in my pocket whenever you want. You were telling me you needed me, weren’t you?”

Jeremy struggled to nod around his hand, gripping at Ryan’s arm. Ryan’s other hand cupped his crotch, squeezing lightly and Jeremy’s hips jerked, trying to grind against him.

“You’re recovered?” Ryan prompted.

_Recovered? Oh, right, most people need recovery after getting fist-fucked._ Jeremy nodded quickly. Truthfully it hadn’t actually been that bad. While Ryan’s fist was bigger, it wasn’t enough so that it wrecked him worse than his own. It was more the deepness that his body wasn’t really ready for. God, it’d felt so good. Jeremy was so distracted by recalling the memory that he spaced out. 

He was yanked back into the present by getting bitten on the neck. He jerked, moaning and becoming aware that his jeans were undone. It wasn’t a really hard bite, but it certainly reminded him of the force Ryan _could_ be using on him.

“I expect you to pay attention when I’m playing with you, whore,” Ryan growled in his ear.

Jeremy whimpered, trying to mumble an apology around his underwear. Ryans grip on his face loosened.

“You’re... _sure_ you’re recovered?” He muttered.

Jeremy frowned, raising an eyebrow at him. He looked hesitant. Jeremy nodded again, more firmly than the last time. _I put my underwear in your pocket, didn’t I?_ The hesitant look dropped and Ryan let go of Jeremy’s face to yank his jeans down, letting them drop when they got to his knees. He gripped the back of Jeremy’s neck to kiss his mouth clumsily around the fabric and rubbed his other hand up Jeremy’s cock.

He pulled back slightly to yank the fabric back out of Jeremy’s mouth. He stuffed it into his pocket, apparently unperturbed that it was covered in drool. Jeremy gripped at Ryan’s jacket as he mouthed at Jeremy’s lips, pushing urgently against him while his hand moved quickly on Jeremy’s cock. Jeremy was a little confused as to why there were no fingers in his ass. 

“R-Ry, I-I’m gonna c-come,” he warned against Ryan’s lips, voice strained as he tried not to.

“Good, come for me, bitch,” Ryan panted, “Hurry up already.”

“B-But a-aren’t-“ Jeremy started only to be interrupted by a hand on his throat.

“Do what you’re told, bitch,” Ryan growled, “I say fetch, you fetch. I say bend over, you bend over. I say come, you come.”

Jeremy whimpered as his hips jerked and he came over Ryan’s hand. Ryan pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“Good,” He whispered softly, “Tell me who owns your ass, Jeremy.”

“Y-You do,” Jeremy squeaked.

After he had all of what Jeremy had to offer in his hand, he turned him around and bent him over, smearing it over his asshole. Jeremy shuddered, bracing his hands on the door as Ryan used his own come to finger him. This was an entirely new experience for him and it was sending sparks out all over his overstimulated pelvis. His cock was twitching, really trying to rejoin the fight as Ryan worked him open. 

“You look so pretty with come in your cute ass, Jeremy,” Ryan commented lightly.

“Th-Thank you?” Jeremy offered shakily.

He thought it was a compliment anyway. Ryan pulled his hand back to open his belt.

“Is this enough or you need lube?” He questioned as he pulled his cock out.

“Th-This is enough,” Jeremy hurriedly assured him.

“Take your shirt off,” Ryan grunted as he shuffled forward.

Jeremy pulled his shirt off while Ryan gripped his hip. He pressed the head of his cock to Jeremy’s asshole and puffed out a breathy moan as he pushed forward. 

“Goddamn,” he huffed, “You always feel so good, Jeremy.”

Jeremy hissed in pain even as he shuddered at being praised again. He wasn’t usually into being praised, but something about how Ryan praised him made it different. Sometimes he spoke almost reverently, like Jeremy was precious and special to him. That was probably it. Jeremy wanted to be special to Ryan. He wanted the possessive filth Ryan spewed in his ear to really mean something. 

He was bitten again for spacing out. Again it wasn’t hard enough to really hurt, just sharp enough get his attention.

“What did I tell you, whore?” Ryan growled.

“T-To pay attention,” Jeremy whimpered.

“Do you want me to bite you?” Ryan sneered as his hips started moving, “Do you want me to mark you up?”

“Y-Yes, please!” Jeremy cried, “Please m-mark me up!”

Ryan clamped down on his shoulder, biting down harshly. Jeremy cried out, back dipping as he tried to meet Ryan’s thrusts. Ryan moved one of his hands to his other shoulder, trying to keep him from moving while he sucked the skin between his teeth. Jeremy jerked, trying to stay still as he was being silently ordered to, but struggling with the urge to fuck himself of Ryan’s cock. 

Ryan moved away from his shoulder down to his shoulder blade, clamping on again while he thrust deep and slow. Jeremy’s cock had finally rejoined the party and Jeremy _really_ wanted to come now. But he also _really_ wanted Ryan to keep going with the bites, so was resisting the urge to beg in case he’d stop biting to fuck him with more focus. Jeremy was whimpering and shaking with desire as Ryan left a string of bites over each shoulder blade and then down along his spine. 

“You’re pretty covered in marks,” Ryan murmured, “You’re just so fucking pretty. I want to violate every part of your pretty body.”

Jeremy shuddered and Ryan started thrusting hard against him. He gripped the back of Jeremy’s neck and shoved his face hard against the door.

“I bet you’d love that, slut,” He taunted as his pace picked up, “Y-You’d love me fucking you up, you’d love everyone seeing my love healing all over your body. You’d l-love looking in the mirror and seeing where I-I beat you, seeing where I c-cut you up, where I claimed you, marking you up because y-you’re mine.”

His lips pressed to Jeremy’s ear.

“You want me t-to really hurt you, don’t you, Jeremy?” He breathed, “You want me to damage you, break you, destroy you.”

“Y-Yes!” Jeremy sobbed, “Y-Yes, I-I want you to hurt me!”

“I will, baby, don’t worry,” Ryan whispered, jarringly gentle for how brutally he was fucking Jeremy, “I will hurt you again and again and again until you can’t take any more.”

His hand went around Jeremy’s cock.

“Then I’m going to make you take it again anyway,” he growled.

Jeremy came, tightening around Ryan’s cock as his jizz splattered on the door. Ryan let go of him as he thrust hard, coming deep in his ass as his hands slammed against the door.

“Fucking _Christ!”_ He hissed.

Jeremy wobbled, pawing at the door a bit as he tried to keep upright on his weak legs. Ryan wrapped his arms around him, burying his face in Jeremy’s neck. Jeremy whimpered as his knees gave out.

“Shh, I’ve got you, sweet pea,” Ryan soothed, still sounding breathless, “We’re going to the floor now. You’re alright, I’m not going anywhere.”

Ryan slowly took them to the floor, keeping Jeremy pressed to his chest. Jeremy cried as he always did while Ryan shifted behind him to retrieve wet wipes. He kept one arm around Jeremy as the other hand went between them to clean Jeremy’s ass. He carefully got Jeremy’s clothes back in place and pulled him onto his lap. He pulled his jacket off to wrap around him again, holding him closely to his chest.

“I’m here, sweet pea,” he assured him, brushing his hand through Jeremy’s hair and kissing his forehead, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“S-Skin,” Jeremy mumbled shakily, “N-Need t-to touch.”

He pawed weakly at Ryan’s shirt. Ryan shifted, pushing one hand up Jeremy’s shirt. He rubbed his bare hand in soothing circles on Jeremy’s back. Jeremy relaxed against him, his shaking slowing down some. _He’s here. I’m okay._

“You with me, sweet pea?” Ryan murmured against his temple.

“Y-Yes, I’m here,” Jeremy mumbled.

“Do you need a nap?” Ryan asked, “I won’t leave while you’re sleeping.”

“Wake me up in a bit?” Jeremy requested, rubbing his cheek into Ryan’s chest.

“Half an hour?” Ryan suggested.

Jeremy nodded before settling in. Ryan kissed his forehead again before resting his cheek on Jeremy’s head. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all fine and healthy and okay.


	7. Chapter 7

Jeremy, as well as the rest of FAHC, was minding his own business in the conference room when Gavin decided to upset the quiet work.

“When are we meeting your boyfriend, Ryebread?” He suddenly asked.

“I’ll let you know as soon as I get one,” Ryan muttered, not looking up from the laptop.

Jeremy smiled lightly at him. _He looks so cute when he wears his glasses._

“What happened to blue guy?!” Gavin demanded, “I thought you were serious about him?”

“That was a joke,” Ryan grunted, “And a bad one at that.”

_ I dunno, I thought it was kinda funny.  _

“But you defended him,” Gavin pointed out.

“So I think he doesn’t deserve to be insulted,” Ryan countered, frowning at the screen, “That doesn’t mean I want to be his boyfriend. Why are we still talking about this?”

“You know if you don’t pin him down he’ll get with someone else,” Gavin argued.

“Ha! No, he won’t,” Ryan scoffed.

_ Okay, what are you trying to say? Because that sounded rude. _

“Don’t you get with other people?” Gavin offered, “Is it crazy to say he’ll do what you do?”

Ryan paused, looking over at him, frown deepening. Jeremy’s heart squeezed in his chest. _He sees other people. Right, of course he does._ Jeremy was suddenly burning up with the desire to have Ryan only look at him. _If he sees others, he doesn’t need me._

Maybe his sadism wasn’t being sated enough with Jeremy. They had been a bit calmer the last couple times. Jeremy was pretty sure the closet/knife play session hadn’t been as intense as Ryan had intended with him leaving for a bit halfway through. The other two had been reactionary bangs, no setup. Ryan probably wanted to “play”, like he kept saying. 

“He’s not going to see anyone else,” Ryan insisted, turning back to his screen, “He knows who he belongs to.”

Jeremy tried not to blush from that, twisting the pen in his hands nervously. Was it totally fucked that being told he belonged to Ryan made him feel warmth in his chest? And also between his legs?

“Ry, that’s creepy,” Gavin grunted, “He’s a person.”

“Yes, a person who doesn’t need anyone else,” Ryan grunted, “I give him everything he needs.”

Ryan didn’t need Jeremy, only Jeremy needed Ryan. Which meant Ryan could leave him at any time and be totally fine. And if Jeremy wasn’t providing enough...

_ Crack! _

“Fuck!” Jeremy shouted as blue ink splattered on his face.

He’d snapped the pen. The crew looked over in alarm. 

“S-Sorry,” he sputtered, “D-Don’t know-S-Sorry.”

He got up and quickly hurried to the bathroom, avoiding Ryan’s worried eyes. He closed and locked the bathroom door before turning on the facet. He stared at the blue water running from his hands. _What the hell am I doing?_

He puffed out a few deep breaths and focused on washing the ink off. _Okay. Okay. Ryan’s got other partners, that’s okay. That just means he can have multiple. So I just have to stay out of the last place slot, that’s all. I have to be just good enough to stay in the running. No worries, I can do that._

_He wants to play. We haven’t played in awhile._ Jeremy shuddered as he remembered their previous play sessions. He actually wanted to play too. _Perfect._ Then he wouldn’t have to force himself to be into it. He recalled Ryan’s hesitance last time. He’d waited for Jeremy to say he was ready because he was worried about recovery. 

It was possible he was doing that again. He _had_ told Jeremy to slip him his underwear whenever he wanted. Maybe he was trying to set up a system for Jeremy to use. Signal his readiness with his underwear. But last time he’d slipped him his underwear, they’d banged practically immediately, meaning it would be another no setup bang. 

Ah, but they could bang normally and Jeremy could say afterwards that he was ready to “really play” again, like Ryan had previously. And for now, he could remind Ryan why he liked banging Jeremy. Which seemed to be his underwear and his ass. And his screaming. But that wouldn’t come into play now. That was for later. 

Jeremy shuddered again. Maybe he should come up with an idea. Since Ryan did all the setup, maybe he would appreciate a suggestion? Jeremy could walk him to the armory and sweep his hands out in a “choose whichever” motion. There were less things he _didn’t_ want used on him. 

He dried his hands and face and removed his underwear. _Mission Make Ryan Stay is a go, Dooley presiding as lead agent._ He gave himself a salute in the mirror and immediately covered his red face. _Oh god, I really am losing my fucking mind!_ He supposed anyone would, if they had Ryan as a partner. He hurried back to the conference room. Now he just needed to slip his underwear in Ryan’s pocket.

“Dooley, you good?” Michael grunted as he entered.

“Yeah, I think I fell asleep for a second,” Jeremy snorted, “Woke up and snapped my pen. Like a reflex. Need to stretch my legs, wake myself up.”

He wandered over to Ryan who looked up at him with inquisitive, worried eyes. 

“What’re you working on?” Jeremy questioned, leaning over to look at his screen.

“The pulse device,” Ryan answered, turning back towards the screen, “The one that’ll work in the tunnels so we can communicate without our normal methods.”

“So like a walkie?” Jeremy reasoned.

“Yes, but since we can’t talk, it will emit pulses,” Ryan explained, “We’ll have remotes to communicate with each other’s devices.”

Jeremy blinked at the screen a moment.

“So...it’s a vibrator?” He guessed, raising an eyebrow at Ryan.

Ryan rolled his eyes.

“Same concept,” he muttered, “But it won’t be inside anyone. Sorry to disappoint.”

“The problem is vibrating won’t work,” Gavin spoke up, “We won’t feel it if it just vibrates.”

Jeremy’s heart leapt in his throat and he leaned down closer to Ryan to look at the screen. 

“Then it needs to be like a shock collar,” he murmured as he slipped his hand in Ryan’s pocket.

Ryan sat up straight, looking at him sharply.

“Shock collar?” He repeated, a bit hesitant, but _very_ interested. 

“Yes, wouldn’t that be exciting?” Jeremy laughed.

He watched Ryan’s eyes drop to his throat and his own bobbed as he swallowed. Jeremy smirked. _Yeah, I had a feeling that would appeal to you._

“Ry, you’re creepy sometimes,” Gavin spoke up, “You want to shock us, don’t you?”

Ryan grinned widely, like a predator. Even in his cute glasses form, he looked like he wanted to eat Jeremy up.

“Only with permission, of course,” he joked.

Jeremy suppressed the urge to shudder. _Vibrators and shock collars. Mmmm._

“Well, I can make a shock device no problem,” Ryan announced, “So I’m finished for now. Did you still need help with that other project, Jeremy?”

“If you’re not too busy,” Jeremy agreed.

“I’m never too busy for my favorite acrobat,” Ryan assured him as he stood, closing the laptop.

“How many acrobats do you know?” Jeremy snorted as they moved toward the door.

“One.”

“Yeah, I thought so,” Jeremy laughed, “Doesn’t make that title of favorite feel all that great.”

Ryan closed the door of his office by slamming Jeremy against it. He put Jeremy’s hand on the doorknob to lock it himself before his hands slammed on the door to either side of Jeremy’s head.

“Were you serious??” He demanded, “Shock collar. Were you serious?”

Jeremy nodded sheepishly.

“I-If that’s...something you’d like?” He murmured, suddenly feeling a bit apprehensive.

Ryan took his hand off the doorknob and pressed it to his crotch. He leaned forward, now bracing his forearm on the door by Jeremy’s head.

“I think you know damn well I’d like that,” he whispered, “You’re my perfect li-perfect slut. You know what I’d like, don’t you? I bet we’re compatible on most everything.”

He leaned forward further, lips brushing Jeremy’s ear.

“I bet anyway I hurt you, you’d fucking love it,” he breathed, “And I have so many ways I want to hurt you, Jeremy.”

Jeremy groaned softly, knees weakening as arousal pulsed through him. Ryan pulled back and gripped his face in one hand to kiss him firmly while he undid Jeremy’s belt and jeans with the other. Jeremy fumbled with Ryan’s in return, but Ryan pulled back again.

“Don’t,” he grunted, “Hands up.”

Jeremy put his hands up and Ryan’s hand moved from his face to his throat as the other pulled Jeremy’s cock free. He pressed lightly on Jeremy’s throat and Jeremy spasmed, jerking in his hand. 

“I can’t wait to put that collar on you,” Ryan groaned, as his hand stroked Jeremy quickly with clear intent, “You’re gonna look so pretty with your face all twisted up in pain, body jerking from the electricity. Oh god, you’re gonna be so beautiful.”

Jeremy whimpered, struggling to keep his hands up while he thrust into Ryan’s. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Ryan whispered, “Every part of you begs to be hurt, to be marred, to be destroyed. And every part of me begs to be your destroyer.”

The hand on Jeremy’s throat squeezed tightly and Jeremy’s body jerked as he came. Ryan let go and pulled him close as he lowered them to the floor. Jeremy gasped in a few breaths before he felt normal again. Then he pawed at Ryan’s jeans. Ryan chuckled at him as he stood back up, leaving Jeremy on the floor. He started unfastening his belt and Jeremy eagerly straightened up.

“Goddamn, you’re a slut,” Ryan muttered as he pulled his cock out, “You already came and yet you want to suck my cock. Don’t you, slut?”

“Y-Yes, please,” Jeremy mumbled.

“You’re getting meeker and sluttier each new day, Jeremy,” Ryan teased, rubbing his cock in front of Jeremy’s face, “I think I’m a good influence on you.”

Jeremy blushed, looking down and away. Ryan gripped his chin, tipping his head back up. His hand was moving with purpose again, set on coming.

“What are you, Jeremy?” He panted.

“I-I’m a...bitch,” Jeremy answered, struggling to maintain eye contact.

“Wh-Whose bitch are you?” Ryan pressed, breathlessly.

“Yours, I belong to you,” Jeremy breathed.

“O-Open your mouth and t-take what I give you, bitch,” Ryan growled as his body tensed.

Jeremy opened his mouth wide and Ryan shoved his cock over his tongue straight into his throat. Jeremy choked, throat squeezing and shoving, trying to push his cock back up. Ryan’s hips thrust relentlessly into his face as Jeremy scrambled to keep up, loosening his jaw and trying to swallow around him. Ryan shouted, smashing hard against Jeremy’s face as he came. Jeremy swallowed quickly as he choked, trying to get the come down his throat sooner rather than have it come back up. Ryan slid out carefully as he quickly caught his breath and crouched down.

“You alright, sweet pea?” He questioned, kissing Jeremy lightly and rubbing his arms, “I’m right here with you.”

“I’m fine,” Jeremy rasped, “Throat’s sore.”

Ryan winced.

“It’s just a bit,” Jeremy quickly assured hm, “Nothing too bad. Nothing to impede any upcoming playing.”

Ryan grinned at him, brushing his fingers over his throat.

“I’m gonna make you regret your suggestion, Jeremy,” he announced gleefully.

Jeremy swallowed under his fingers. He actually couldn’t decide if he liked that idea or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today’s episode brought to you by the letter S for stupidity.


	8. Chapter 8

Jeremy hesitated in the garage. It hadn’t occurred to him to ask Ryan where they were going. He’d just requested Jeremy not drive to work so he could ride with him. They finally had a play date, as Ryan was calling it, but Jeremy wasn’t sure what all that entailed. Other than a shock collar. 

He sat down next to Ryan’s bike as he waited for him. _How many other people does he see?_ Seven, one for each day of the week? 31, one for each day of the month? How many people was Jeremy competing against? How much better were they than him? Had he bumped someone else out of the rotation? Where was he on Ryan’s list? Was he closer to first? Was he dead last? He’d called Jeremy his favorite slut, but was that true?

“Jeremy?” Ryan’s voice called softly.

Jeremy blinked himself out of his thoughts and focused on Ryan crouching in front of him. He looked worried again. He brushed his knuckles over Jeremy’s cheek.

“What’s wrong, sweet pea?” He murmured, “Why are you upset?”

“Am I really your favorite?” Jeremy mumbled.

Ryan smiled softly at him.

“Yes, you’re my favorite,” he assured him.

Jeremy relaxed a bit and smiled back. Ryan kissed him lightly before standing and helping Jeremy to his feet. He gave him a helmet before putting on his own and mounting his bike. Jeremy hurried to follow, putting his arms around Ryan’s waist.

“Where are we going anyway?” Jeremy questioned.

“You’ll see soon enough,” Ryan laughed.

Jeremy swallowed nervously as they zipped from the garage. Ryan was too excited, this couldn’t possibly be good for his sanity. He wondered how high up he’d be held. 

~

Jeremy didn’t know what he expected, but a house was not it. It was big and expensive looking. A practical mansion to Jeremy’s poor, low-class eyes. He stared up at it in surprise as Ryan rode up the drive. Ryan’s house. _Interesting._ He’d never really considered what it might look like. Never stopped to even wonder if he lived in a house or an apartment. 

He realized suddenly in the years he’d known Ryan, he’d barely learned anything about him. How long had he fought beside Ryan, fantasized about him and yet barely knew him? Fuck, what was even his favorite color? Ryan parked in his garage beside another blue and black bike. _Well, it’s blue, obviously,_ Jeremy figured as he dismounted. 

He ruffled his hair self-consciously as he removed the helmet and glanced around the garage. In total there were six bikes and two cars. It wasn’t an insane amount, but it was certainly more than the one car Jeremy owned. Of course Jeremy lived in an apartment, he really didn’t have anywhere to put any more vehicles even though he did technically have money saved. 

Ryan took the helmet from him and placed it on the seat before taking his hand to lead him into the house. He led him through a massive kitchen, around a corner to a locked door that he let go of Jeremy’s hand to unlock. Jeremy shifted a bit nervously as the padlock was unlocked. This was the dungeon, wasn’t it? He was about to be led to the torture dungeon or maybe the sex dungeon. He hoped it was the latter. Though he supposed for Ryan they were about the same. For him as well, really.

“In you go,” Ryan instructed, stepping aside.

Jeremy hesitated.

“You’re...not locking me in here, are you?” He grunted.

“No, I just have to go behind you,” Ryan answered, “To lock it from the inside.”

Ryan flicked on a light switch to light up the stairs which made Jeremy feel slightly better about stepping through. Ryan followed closely behind him, closing the door and locking the padlock on an inner latch. He had Jeremy test it before he gently guided him down the stairs. 

“Do you live with someone?” Jeremy wondered as they got to the bottom.

Ryan moved around him to open another door, one that didn’t have a lock. He paused, looking back at Jeremy with a frown.

“Uh, no,” he grunted, “Why would you think that?”

“The door,” Jeremy answered, gesturing up the stairs, “Why would you need to lock it if you don’t have roommates?”

Ryan’s frown deepened.

“I thought you would be uncomfortable if I didn’t lock it,” He muttered.

Jeremy considered the fact that the inner latch looked much newer than the outer one. 

“You...got a new latch just because of me,” He realized.

“Well, yes, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” Ryan confirmed, “You should be comfortable and safe in our chosen play area.”

Jeremy’s heart fluttered and he smiled at him, brushing a nervous hand through his hair.

“Well, thank you,” he murmured, “I _do_ feel safe.”

“Good,” Ryan answered, turning back to the door, “Because I need you to focus when I destroy you.”

“Y-Yes, sir,” Jeremy chuckled nervously as they went through the door.

The dungeon could definitely be mistaken for a torture dungeon. Actually, Jeremy wasn’t that sure it _didn’t_ double as a torture dungeon. There was a drain in the center of the floor and a sink in one corner. 

There was a decent bed, with a pile of puffy pillows, but considering the shackles attached to it, it wasn’t exactly reassuring. And the row of shelves had more weapon/weapon-like objects than obvious sex toys. Though the chair against the far wall did look more sex-related, so that was a bit comforting. 

“Come here,” Ryan muttered, guiding him to the foot of the bed, “You’re not going to be able to make noise in a little bit.”

He pulled out a ring and slipped it on Jeremy’s right index finger. He pressed Jeremy’s thumb to it and twisted it. It made a little whistling noise as the inlayed part spun independently of the base. Jeremy spun it and it whistled again.

“Just spin it if you need to stop,” Ryan instructed, “Understand?”

“I understand,” Jeremy confirmed.

“Good, get your clothes off,” Ryan ordered, “Let me see what color you wore for me today.”

Jeremy blushed badly as he kicked off his shoes and carefully opened his belt and jeans. He hesitated a moment.

“I...i-it’s a bit...silly,” He mumbled, “Y-You won’t laugh?”

Ryan raised an eyebrow at him.

“No, I won’t laugh,” he assured him.

Jeremy pushed his jeans down and let them drop, kicking them aside. He gripped his shirt nervously, face bright red. Ryan was completely silent a moment. Then he stepped forward, brushing his fingers over the tops of the thigh high stockings then over the edges of the lacy panties. His nose brushed against Jeremy’s. 

“Why would I laugh at you?” He wondered, “You’re being good to me, sweet pea. Is this a special occasion?”

Jeremy’s hands twisted in his shirt as he shook his head. 

“Th-That’s not the...the s-silly part,” he stammered.

“Oh?” Ryan prompted, stepping back slightly.

He looked down at them closer, frowning a bit, clearly not seeing what he was missing. Jeremy turned around.

“Oh.”

Jeremy jumped a bit as Ryan’s fingers traced the heart-shaped edges of the backless panties.

“You don’t have to take them off,” he commented under his breath.

Jeremy looked over his shoulder at him, his eyes were laser-focused on Jeremy’s ass, lips parted. _He likes them. Yes!_

“God, your ass is beautiful,” Ryan added, groping him with both hands, “You make it really hard not to get an HR complaint.”

Jeremy gave him an exasperated look. _Here I was worried about keeping myself in the running and this idiot is so easy to please._ He was still worried, but he did actually feel reassured. A bit of the cockiness he rarely seemed to have around Ryan, came back and he bent slightly to wiggle his ass, grinning. 

“Goddamn,” Ryan huffed, readjusting his pants, “Yeah, shake it for me, baby.”

Jeremy _did_ shake it, then he rubbed it against Ryan’s boner, drawing a groan from him. He smirked as he gave Ryan whatever the standing equivalent of a lap dance was. Ryan’s hands ran down his sides and held his hips as Jeremy ground his ass on his crotch. 

“You sure it’s not a special occasion?” he groaned in Jeremy’s ear, “You’re bein’ so good to me. Gonna make me come in my pants, baby.”

Jeremy shuddered and groaned softly, again the image of Ryan coming in his pants over him quite an appealing one. Ryan nipped at his neck as he pushed his hand up his shirt. 

“Better get all those sounds out now,” Ryan chuckled, “You’re not gonna wanna make any sounds when the collar goes on.”

_Shock collar, right._ Jeremy had forgotten about it. He shuddered. Ryan pulled back to tug his shirt over his head. Then he shoved Jeremy forward, making him sprawl out awkwardly over the bed. 

“Put your ass up, slut,” Ryan growled.

Jeremy shifted forward to get his knees under him and put his ass in the air. Ryan squeezed his thighs over the tops of the stockings.

“Such a pretty blue too,” he murmured, “You’re spoiling me, Jeremy. I’m gonna start asking even more of you.”

_As if you ask so much of me now._ He smoothed his hands up the backs of Jeremy’s thighs to his ass, spreading it apart. Jeremy jolted a little as Ryan rubbed lube over his asshole, wondering when and where he’d gotten lube. He leaned down and sank his teeth into Jeremy’s ass as he pushed a finger inside him. 

Jeremy moaned, back dipping as he clenched his fists in the sheets. Ryan bit like he wanted Jeremy to feel it for days and Jeremy hoped he would. He let go and bit him again each time he added another finger. Four mostly symmetrical bites throbbed in the window of Jeremy’s underwear when all but Ryan’s thumb moved in and out of him. 

“R-Ry,” Jeremy huffed.

“Ready?” Ryan guessed, pressing a kiss to the latest bite mark.

“Y-Yes, please,” Jeremy groaned.

Ryan slowly dragged his fingers out of him and guided him up to sitting on his knees. He pulled something from his jacket and held it out in front of Jeremy, pressing a kiss to his ear.

“You like it?” He murmured.

Jeremy blushed a bit. The strap of the collar was purple and sewn into the front in alternating orange and yellow was “bitch”. Jeremy cleared his throat.

“I-I like it,” he admitted in a tiny voice, “C-Can we play now?”

“Yes, we can,” Ryan hummed, as he clasped the collar around Jeremy’s neck, “When I turn it on, if you groan, hum, talk, or make any noise at all, it will shock you. So you have to try to keep it in. Remind me how you tell me if you need to stop.”

Jeremy spun the ring on his finger and it whistled. 

“Good,” Ryan purred, nuzzling his ear, “Are you ready?”

“I’m ready,” Jeremy confirmed.

_ Click. _

Jeremy’s breath caught in his throat. The collar was on now and it filled Jeremy with adrenaline, his heart pounding and his skin buzzing. 

“Get your ass back up,” Ryan ordered as he lifted up.

Jeremy got on his forearms, putting his ass back in the air. 

_ Smack! _

Jeremy cried out at the sudden slap to his ass over the bite marks.

_ Bzz. _

He jerked as the electricity jolted through his throat. He just barely stopped himself from making another noise. 

_ Smack! _

He jostled forward, biting his tongue as the blow landed harder than the last. 

_ Smack! _

His body vibrated with the want to cry out or moan either one at Ryan spanking his ass, which was obviously what Ryan wanted. 

_ Smack! _

He was clearly trying to make Jeremy shock himself. No surprise there. Jeremy was panting harshly as he tried his best not to do that. 

_ Smack! _

“What’s wrong, Jeremy?” Ryan sneered, “I thought you liked me hurting you? Nothing to say this time?”

_Fucking asshole._ Jeremy threw a glare over his shoulder at the grinning man behind him.

_ Smack! _

Jeremy let out a surprised shout, toppling forward with the force of the slap.

_ Bzz. _

He groaned as the collar shocked him, body jerking.

_ Bzz. _

He squeezed the sheets tightly, forcing himself not to make another sound, huffing as he tried to stay in control. Ryan gripped his arm, twisting him around onto his back. He ran his hands over the tops of the stockings again. 

“Such beautiful thighs,” he murmured, “I’m gonna have to mark them up.”

Jeremy groaned. _Please, more marks, please._

_ Bzz. _

He jerked, resisting the urge to grunt in pain.

“Like that, hm?” Ryan mused as he unbuckled his belt, “You like being marked, don’t you?”

“By _you,”_ Jeremy grunted.

_ Bzz. _

His jaw clenched and he hissed out a breath through his teeth. Worth it though for the pleased smile Ryan gave him.

“That was the correct response,” he chuckled, pulling his cock out and lubing it up, “You know who you belong to, don’t you?”

Jeremy nodded as Ryan pushed his legs up. 

“Well? Who do you belong to?” Ryan questioned as he pressed his dick into Jeremy.

Jeremy’s face screwed up in concentration, trying to stop himself from moaning as Ryan pushed fully inside him. 

_ Smack! _

Jeremy moaned, hips jerking as Ryan smacked his thigh.

_ Bzz. _

He jerked again, huffing breathlessly.

“I asked you a question, bitch,” Ryan growled, “Who do you belong to?”

“You,” Jeremy grit through his teeth.

_ Bzz. _

His back arched and he gripped at the sheets tighter as the shock fired through him. _Asshole._

“God, you look so fucking beautiful,” Ryan groaned, starting to thrust slowly, “I fucking knew you would. So fucking beautiful.”

Jeremy cracked his eyes open, two hot tears rolling down his cheeks. He reached for Ryan who leaned over him and tugged at his jacket. Ryan pulled it off and Jeremy tugged at his shirt next. Ryan hesitated, hips faltering. Jeremy put his arms around his neck to dismiss the request and Ryan puffed out a relieved sigh before refocusing on the task at hand. He pulled Jeremy’s cock from his panties and jerked him off as he thrust into him, Jeremy struggling to keep his moans at bay. 

“What’s wrong, Jeremy?” Ryan taunted in his ear, “I don’t hear any positive affirmations. Not having a good time?”

Jeremy glared at him and he grinned widely as he shifted to drive harder into him. Jeremy bit his tongue, face screwing up as he struggled to keep his noises contained. Ryan thumbed over the head of his cock and he slipped, groaning low in his throat.

_ Bzz. _

He groaned again, body jerking.

_ Bzz. _

He bit off another groan, panting harshly as the electricity seemed to buzz through his whole body, partially aided by how hard and fast Ryan was fucking him. He was shaking badly, body tense from fighting with itself. _Moan, cry, beg,_ his body screamed at him. 

“God, baby, you feel so fuckin’ good,” Ryan groaned in his ear, “So fuckin’ tight, squeezin’ me. Shakin’ like you’re losin’ control. My perfect lit-my perfect bitch, takin’ it so good.”

Jeremy hissed out a strained breath. 

_ Smack! _

Jeremy broke concentration as Ryan’s hand landed hard on his thigh again. He moaned, back arching, hands scrambling to hold onto Ryan.

_ Bzz. _

Jeremy cried out as the shock burst through him.

_ Bzz. _

He choked, swallowing another moan.

“Yeah, you fuckin’ like that, don’t you?” Ryan growled, hips thrusting bruisingly hard and quick, “‘Course you do, you’re a f-fuckin’ bitch. Th-This is right where you belong, f-fuck, c-collared and takin’ what I give you. Y-You’re gonna take it until you forget what anyone else felt like, g-gonna be only mine forever. ‘Cause y-you don’t need anyone else. No one else can f-fuck you how you n-need it. I-I’ll give you everything you need. I...I’ll give you everything. Wh-Whatever you want. I...I- _fuck.”_

He pulled back and yanked his shirt over his head, hips faltering only a moment before he leaned back down. Jeremy caught sight of some truly horrific looking scars that answered why Ryan was insecure. He put his arms back around his neck to avoid feeling them like he really wanted to. 

Ryan’s twisted up face and worried eyes were pointed right at him as he fucked him harshly, like he was trying to distract him from the scars. Jeremy closed his eyes, hoping that would help and Ryan puffed out a sigh that seemed to indicate this was the right move. He pressed his lips to Jeremy’s lightly before he buried his face in Jeremy’s neck, panting heavily. He bit down hard on Jeremy’s neck, sucking his skin through his teeth. Jeremy cried out and moaned in a single breath.

_ Bzz. _

He jerked, then snapped, losing his control on his noises. His eyes rolled back as he moaned again.

_ Bzz. _

He jerked, trying to fuck up into Ryan’s hand and down onto his cock, panting heavily and moaning.

_ Bzz._

“Ryan!” He screamed as his hips jerked up and he came.

_ Bzz. _

He spasmed, crying out as the shock fired off in his overstimulated body.

_ Bzz. _

Ryan’s hand was on the collar before it could go off again.

_ Click. _

The collar was off. Jeremy choked, sobbing as Ryan growled and thrust quickly and sloppily until he came. Jeremy puffed out a relieved sigh as heat filled him up. Ryan unclasped the collar. Jeremy had his post-coital cry into his bare shoulder, which was new.

”I’ve got you, sweet pea,” Ryan assured him, as always, “I’m right here. Not going anywhere.”

_Do you promise?_ Jeremy wanted to ask.

“You with me, sweet pea?” Ryan murmured after he’d settled down, pressing light kisses on Jeremy’s neck.

“Present,” Jeremy rasped, “And all limbs... accounted for.”

“Awe, better work harder next time,” Ryan joked.

“Absolutely _not,”_ Jeremy adamantly disagreed.

Ryan laughed, then shifted and quickly grabbed his shirt to yank on. He flopped down on his side and pulled Jeremy back to his chest. Jeremy shivered, pressing closer and Ryan reached over to grab his jacket, wrapping it around him.

“You sure you’re alright, sweet pea?” He murmured, brushing a hand through his hair.

“I’m just actually cold,” Jeremy grunted, “Fucking basement.”

Ryan snorted, moving to untuck the sheets and cover them. 

“Why are we down here anyway?” Jeremy mumbled hoarsely, “Couldn’t we have done this upstairs?”

“You were supposed to sit in the chair,” Ryan explained, “So a dildo could fuck you while I sucked you off.”

Jeremy shuddered, touching his sore throat. _Oh boy, that would’ve been impossible to stay quiet for._

“But then...” Ryan muttered, hand brushing over Jeremy’s panties, “You wore such pretty lingerie and shook your ass for me...thought I’d explode if I didn’t fuck you.”

Jeremy buried his blushing face in Ryan’s chest. 

“Thank you...for taking your shirt off,” he mumbled, “You didn’t have to...Thank you for trusting me.”

Ryan didn’t say anything to that and Jeremy almost preferred it that way. It was getting a bit emotionally intense. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In a *shocking* turn of events, these two emotionally stunted babies don’t talk about their feelings as much as they should.


	9. Chapter 9

Jeremy had a noticeable mark. Right on his neck, just above his collar was a massive bruise and bite mark. Ryan smirked as he looked at it, tugging Jeremy’s shirt to the side a bit to see it better. He seemed very pleased with himself. Jeremy gave him an exasperated look.

“Proud of yourself, Haywood?” He snorted as he brought his coffee to his lips.

“Absolutely,” Ryan agreed.

Jeremy shook his head, lips twitching into a fond smile. He kissed Ryan lightly before turning to leave.

“Ryebread, family meeting!” Gavin called, popping his head into the kitchen.

Jeremy moved to follow.

“No, not you, Lil’ J,” Gavin dismissed, “Just Ryan. Wow, nice hickie.”

Jeremy blushed a little, self-consciously rubbing at it. Ryan threw him a smirk as he started to follow Gavin.

“Why not Jeremy?” He asked as they started down the hallway.

”We wanted to talk to you about what you were saying while he was washing off ink the other day,” Gavin explained, “You know, what you were asking about blue guy.”

Jeremy’s spine stiffened as they moved out of hearing range. Ryan talked to the others about Jeremy. What did he say? What did the others say? Did they suspect Jeremy was the blue guy? Was that why he wasn’t invited to the meeting? Or maybe they were trying to be nice since they all knew Jeremy had a massive crush on Ryan? Ryan seemed pretty adamant about not wanting the others to know and also ensuring they didn’t think he was dating the blue guy. 

That was...interesting, wasn’t it? He hadn’t spoken to Jeremy about it, hadn’t tried to define their relationship, but when Gavin asked, he made sure to vehemently deny that he was serious about it. Both times Gavin asked about it. Despite supposedly not wanting to talk about it, he also answered all of Gavin’s questions about it too. And what had he said when Jeremy felt a twinge of jealousy over Gavin? He said Jeremy was his favorite slut, but he didn’t deny that there was anything going on between him and Gavin.

Jeremy felt burning in his chest. 

If he _was_ into Gavin, then it was obviously different than it was with Jeremy and the others. Ryan didn’t want Gavin to think he was serious with Jeremy, so obviously he wanted to show he was available to him. Ryan _liked_ Gavin. Which meant regardless of Jeremy’s standing in the slut rotation, Gavin would always be above him. Jeremy wasn’t ever going to be good enough. 

“Jeremy?” Ryan’s voice called softly.

He stepped in front of him. Jeremy blinked rapidly, shaking himself from his daze. Ryan’s face was twisted with worry again.

“What’s wrong?” He questioned.

“N-Nothing,” Jeremy mumbled, “I’m fine.”

“Jeremy, I didn’t tell them,” Ryan murmured, “They don’t know it’s you.”

“Okay.”

Ryan held his hand gently. 

“Jeremy, I didn’t tell them anything about you, I promise,” he insisted.

“I didn’t think you did,” Jeremy assured him.

Ryan’s face was still twisted in worry.

“Then...what did I do wrong?” He muttered, sounding strained.

He looked like he really didn’t want to talk about it, but he was making himself.

“Nothing,” Jeremy grunted, “I just...How many other sluts do you see?”

Ryan looked away.

_“I_ never said I saw anyone else,” he murmured.

A tiny seed of hope bloomed in Jeremy’s chest.

“Then...it’s just me?” He asked hopefully.

Ryan cleared his throat, shifting a bit, still not looking at him.

“Is that...okay?” He muttered, hesitantly meeting his eyes.

“Uh, yeah?” Jeremy grunted, frowning, “Why wouldn’t that be okay?”

Ryan’s face cleared a bit and he sighed, rubbing his forehead tiredly. 

“I just...don’t want you to think I want more from you,” He mumbled, “I don’t want you to think that just because I’m only seeing you, I expect you to...do anything or be anything to me. I don’t want to... _pressure_ you into anything.”

Jeremy recalled the kissing incident, recalled Ryan making that assumption based on apparently no feedback from him. 

“Ry...did you think _I_ didn’t want to be monogamous?” Jeremy questioned carefully.

Ryan frowned at him.

“Uh, yes...is that not...accurate?” He grunted.

“No, it’s not,” Jeremy answered, “I would prefer to be monogamous.”

Ryan grabbed his face and kissed him firmly, pushing his hands through his hair. _Oh Ryan, how many assumptions have you made, you silly boy?_ He rested his forehead on Jeremy’s. 

“Then it’s just us,” he whispered, “You only belong to me and I...I only belong to you.”

“I accept your terms, Mr. Haywood,” Jeremy agreed, grinning at him.

“Mm, I like how you said that,” Ryan hummed, pressing closer to him, “Think I like you being respectful.”

“Shall I call you sir more often?” Jeremy sneered, rolling his eyes, “Say please and thank you?”

Ryan pinned him to the counter.

“That a glock in your pocket, Mr. Haywood?” Jeremy joked, swallowing nervously, “Or are you just happy to see me?”

Ryan leaned forward, gripping a fistful of Jeremy’s hair and yanking his head back. Jeremy hissed in pain.

“Gun or cock, you’d take either in that disrespectful little mouth of yours, wouldn’t you?” He growled in Jeremy’s ear.

“Try it and see,” Jeremy challenged breathlessly.

Ryan gripped his ass and hauled him up again. Jeremy jolted in surprise as Ryan dropped him on the counter. Jeremy gripped his jacket to kiss him and they mouthed hungrily at each other. Then they heard the sound of approaching footsteps and hastened to pull away from each other. Jeremy picked up a banana from the counter. 

“Now I know you’re trying to tease me,” Ryan laughed as he picked up his tea.

“My world doesn’t revolve around you,” Jeremy snorted, sticking out his tongue.

“I should think not,” Gavin spoke up as he entered the kitchen, “Considering that massive mark on your neck. Did you get back with Matt?”

“No, he’s still with Trevor,” Jeremy muttered as he peeled the banana, “I don’t think he’d want that even if he wasn’t.”

Gavin patted his knee sympathetically as he leaned around him to grab a mug.

“Oh, but you’ve got a new boyfriend now anyway, right?” He prompted, poking the mark.

“Ha! No,” Jeremy scoffed around his bite of banana, “Pretty sure he doesn’t do relationships.”

_But at least I got him to agree to a form of monogamy._ He and Ryan were doing a great job of not looking at each other.

“Bloody well starting to think no one does around here,” Gavin muttered, “Michael won’t date Lindsay, I just don’t understand. They like each other, why wouldn’t they date?”

“Not everyone does romantic relationships,” Ryan spoke up, “Some people prefer not to get emotionally attached to others.”

“That’s not why Michael won’t date Lindsay,” Jeremy snorted around banana.

Gavin frowned at him.

“Why won’t he then?” He asked.

Jeremy raised an eyebrow at him then looked at Ryan who just shook his head and rolled his eyes. 

“That’s his business,” Jeremy grunted, finishing the banana.

“Nobody wants to talk about their love lives,” Gavin huffed, “I need drama, my own is abysmally boring.”

Jeremy laughed as he hopped down from the counter to toss the banana peeling and finish his coffee.

“Didn’t Ry _just_ talk to you about his blue guy?” He pointed out.

Ryan flashed him an exasperated look that he grinned at.

“Barely,” Gavin grumbled, “Telling us he fucked up our advice didn’t give me a lot to chew on.”

“Fucked up your advice?” Jeremy prompted.

Ryan was pink-faced.

“Th-That’s not-“ he started to protest.

“We told him to show blue guy more appreciation,” Gavin answered, “Even if Ry’s a man whore, his partners deserve to feel appreciated.”

Ryan covered his eyes, seemingly half from embarrassment, half exasperation. 

“Thank you, Gavin,” he muttered, “So glad we had this conversation.”

Jeremy was positively vibrating with amusement. 

“Anyway, apparently Ry fucked up,” Gavin snorted, “Instead of telling him he appreciated him, he told him he had to stay with him. Apparently his ass is “very distracting” so he-“

_“Thank you, Gavin!”_ Ryan repeated, “Jeremy, don’t you have a job?”

“And miss out on embarrassing you?” Jeremy laughed, “No fucking way. Tell me more, Gav.”

“Oh, well, he said-“

“No, no, no!” Ryan cut him off, gripping Jeremy’s shoulders to push him from the kitchen, “You’re gonna be late for your job!”

“You two are acting weird today,” Gavin grunted.

_“Today?”_ Jeremy scoffed as he was pushed away.

“Solid point, Lil’ J,” Gavin chuckled.

“You are in so much trouble later,” Ryan whispered in Jeremy’s ear.

“Looking forward to it, Mr. Haywood,” Jeremy answered, grinning up at him. 

Ryan’s throat bobbed as he swallowed.

“Dangerous,” he muttered.

“I should hope so,” Jeremy mused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No sexy times and conversation? What the fuck even is this?


	10. Chapter 10

“Who’s Matt?” Ryan suddenly asked.

“What?” Jeremy grunted, not looking up from where he was working on the van.

“Matt, Gavin thought he gave you the mark,” Ryan clarified, “Who is he?”

“My best friend,” Jeremy muttered, “You should know him actually, he used to work on b team. Ah, but he went by Axial.”

“Oh, I do remember him,” Ryan confirmed, “He used to do mods. Pretty hair.”

Jeremy paused, looking over at him.

“Pretty hair,” he repeated.

“Yeah, long and soft,” Ryan recalled, not looking up from where he was working on the other van.

Jeremy brushed a nervous hand through his own hair.

“You like long hair,” he murmured.

“Gives me more to pull,” Ryan answered absently, “I’m guessing you also like long hair.”

He reached up to flick his own ponytail. Jeremy blushed, putting his head back under the hood.

“Guess so,” he mumbled. 

They were quiet a moment.

“You want to get back with him,” Ryan commented.

It sounded more like an accusation.

“Not exactly,” Jeremy murmured.

“Not exactly, what does that mean?” Ryan grumbled.

“I mean, I think maybe I’d say yes if he asked,” Jeremy admitted, “Though I’m not really sure. I think I just sort of want a boyfriend again, not necessarily _him.”_

_ Whack! _

“Fuck!” Ryan shouted as he slammed his head on the hood of the van.

Jeremy ducked out of his own hood in alarm.

“Jesus, are you okay??” He demanded.

Ryan scowled, rubbing the back of his head.

“I’m fine,” he grunted.

“What happened?” Jeremy questioned, moving over to check if he was bleeding.

“Nothing,” Ryan muttered, “Just stood up, forgot I was under the hood.”

Jeremy stood on his toes, batting his hand away to check for blood.

“I’m fine,” he repeated.

“Making me worry, Ry,” Jeremy scolded, dropping back flat on the floor.

He started to turn away, but Ryan gripped his elbow.

“A kiss will make it better,” he joked, smirking at him. 

Jeremy gave him an exasperated look, but leaned up to kiss his lips. Ryan gripped the back of his neck to hold him in place, deepening the kiss before Jeremy could escape back to the job at hand. Not that he’d ever try to escape Ryan’s intoxicating lips. Ryan turned him, pushing him up against the van.

_Clang!_

The wrench in Jeremy’s hand echoed as it clattered on the concrete floor, his hands now scrambling to hang onto Ryan’s shoulders. Meanwhile Ryan’s unoccupied hand yanked at his belt and jeans. Jeremy groaned in his mouth as his hand closed around his cock. He pulled his mouth from Jeremy’s, gripping a handful of his hair and yanking his head back. Jeremy moaned, knees weakening as Ryan mouthed at his throat.

“Why do you need a boyfriend?” Ryan growled as his hand moved on Jeremy, “Don’t I give you what you need, greedy slut? Or should I stop?”

He stopped moving his hand and Jeremy whined, trying to jerk his hips to fuck into it.

“N-No, d-don’t stop, please,” he huffed.

Ryan’s hand started moving again and he nipped at Jeremy’s ear. 

“That’s what I thought,” He sneered, “You don’t need anyone else.”

He kissed his ear gently.

“I’ll take care of you,” He whispered, “I’ll give you what you need.”

Jeremy shuddered as Ryan trailed kisses down neck. Then he lowered to his knees and Jeremy was shocked the image alone didn’t make him come. He stared down at him in surprise as he kissed the tip of his cock and down his shaft, staring right back at him.

“You’re so beautiful,” he breathed, his breath hot on Jeremy, sending shivers up his spine, “Every moment I’m given to touch you is a gift.”

Jeremy‘s breath caught in his throat and he blushed, wobbling as he tried to hold onto the van for support. Ryan’s tongue slipped out and licked up the side of his cock, eyes still locked with Jeremy’s. He closed his mouth on him and pushed forward, mouth sliding down on Jeremy. Jeremy groaned, shuddering as Ryan choked, throat squeezing around him. 

He pulled back and forth a few times while Jeremy shook with the desire to thrust into his face. Then his hand closed firmly around him and stroked his cock, eased by Ryan’s saliva smeared over him. It didn’t take long before he was coming into Ryan’s throat and mouth, slumping against the van.Ryan wiped up his spit and tucked Jeremy back in his pants before standing back up and pushing down on Jeremy’s shoulder.

Jeremy went to the floor easily and shivered as Ryan opened his belt in front of his face again. Jeremy didn’t wait to be ordered, opening his mouth as Ryan’s cock was freed. Ryan gripped his jaw as he guided his cock over his tongue. His grip moved to the hair on top of his head as he thrust forward. Jeremy’s head thunked against the van as Ryan fucked urgently into his throat, pinning him in place. He was trapped, Ryan’s thrusting even more desperate than before. He moaned around him and Ryan echoed it back at him.

“Y-You take me so good, baby,” he huffed, “S-So good for me. Y-You don’t need to go to anyone else. I’ll give you what you need, whatever you want.”

He fumbled with his shirt, hips faltering a bit as he untucked it from his jeans. He gripped Jeremy’s hand where it was clutching his jeans and shoved it up his shirt, pressing it against his scars. Jeremy hesitated as Ryan’s shaking hand slid up his arm, squeezing at his shoulder as his hips picked back up.

Jeremy couldn’t really see his face, but his tensed body and shaking limbs were enough to signal to him that this was not a comfortable situation for him.

_You should be comfortable and safe in our chosen play area._

Jeremy retracted his hand, despite really wanting to feel those scars. Ryan let out a shaky, relieved sigh. He refocused on using Jeremy’s mouth to get off. He panted as his hips slammed into Jeremy’s face.

“God, your mouth is so g-good, baby,” he groaned, “You take it so good. F-Fucking Christ, you’re such a good bitch for me. You’re mine. Only mine. My beautiful, perfect little slut. _Mine.”_

He moaned, pelvis pressing hard against Jeremy who was suddenly suffocating as Ryan came down his throat. He fumbled for the ring he’d moved to his right ring finger, spinning the inlay. Ryan leapt back as the whistle echoed through the garage. Jeremy gasped and coughed and sputtered, struggling to get air in and keep the jizz down. Ryan dropped down, hands rubbing up his arms.

“Are you okay, sweet pea?” He grunted, “Sorry, that was too much. Jesus, I almost suffocated you.”

“F-Fine,” Jeremy choked, “G-Gimme a sec.”

Ryan ran his hands through Jeremy’s hair and over his shoulders as Jeremy got his breath back and stopped coughing.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” He mumbled.

“It’s fine,” Jeremy rasped, “Really, I’m fine.”

“No, it’s not fine,” Ryan insisted, “I got too rough. And I called you little, I’m sorry.”

Jeremy frowned, squinting at him.

“Why would I care about that?” He wondered.

Ryan frowned back at him.

“You...when I made you call yourself little, you were uncomfortable,” He pointed out, “Doesn’t it upset you?”

“I was embarrassed,” Jeremy corrected, “And I like being embarrassed when you fuck me. It turns me on to feel shamed.”

Ryan looked down.

“I...assumed wrong again,” he muttered, “I’m not very good at this.”

Jeremy smiled lightly, shaking his head. 

“You should just ask me,” he suggested.

Ryan was quiet awhile, face twisted while he shifted around.

“Do you...like knives?” Ryan asked, looking back up hesitantly.

He once again looked like he was making himself talk about it.

“Y-Yes,” Jeremy mumbled, blushing, “I, uh, I _really_ like knives.”

Ryan brightened, grinning widely.

“I am so happy to hear that,” he informed Jeremy unnecessarily.

Jeremy could tell by the predatory grin how happy he was to hear it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is this talking in my fic?? Communication?? WAHT


	11. Chapter 11

“Are you scared, Jeremy?” Ryan asked gently, softly.

The knife in his hand trailed over Jeremy’s throat, sending a shiver up Jeremy’s spine.

“M-Maybe,” He squeaked.

The flat of the blade pressed to his throat and he instinctively swallowed. His hands were shaking where they were tied behind his back. One wrong move and he could be bleeding out in Ryan’s torture/sex dungeon. 

“I can tell you’re scared Jeremy,” Ryan taunted, “You’re tenting your pretty panties.”

Jeremy blushed and resisted the urge to shift around where he was kneeling on the bed to self-consciously cover himself with his thigh. The knife trailed down his abdomen which flexed naturally under it. It paused at the edge of his underwear before trailing over his cock through the lacy fabric. He shuddered, breath catching in his throat.

“You’re getting them wet too,” Ryan mused, “You really do like the knife. What a freaky little slut you are.”

Jeremy groaned softly. The knife trailed back up his abdomen.

“Remind me how you tell me if you need to stop,” Ryan instructed.

Jeremy spun the ring, the whistling echoing in the room.

“Good,” Ryan murmured, “Now I need you to do your best to stay still so I don’t damage you beyond repair. Can you do that, Jeremy?”

“Y-Yes,” Jeremy whispered shakily.

The knife pressed hard against his right pec.

“Yes?” Ryan prompted.

“Yes, sir,” Jeremy grunted, rolling his eyes.

Ryan grinned at him. _Asshole._ The knife bit into Jeremy’s skin and his eyelids fluttered at the soft stinging blooming from the cut. Enough to bleed, not enough to really hurt him and definitely not enough to leave scars. _What a bummer._ Ryan moved the knife in a circular pattern, curling over his right pec, around his nipple before crossing over his chest to his left, cutting a similar pattern on it. 

“I was right,” Ryan breathed, “Your blood is pretty.”

Jeremy groaned, shuddering. Ryan ran his finger over the stinging trail, making the stinging pulse bigger in his chest. Jeremy was struggling to breathe properly.

“So little and you’re already a mess,” Ryan teased.

Jeremy panted as the knife moved to his sternum and cut another curly pattern under his right pec, then another under the left. Tiny beads of blood welled up in the shallow cuts, not quite enough to freely drip down his skin. 

“R-Ry, please, m-more,” he huffed, “D-Deeper. Please.”

“You are very dangerous, Jeremy,” Ryan whispered, “The darkness in me is so easily encouraged by your pretty mouth.”

Jeremy gazed into Ryan’s cold, hard eyes.

“Please, sir,” he breathed, “Cut me like you mean it.”

The next string of cuts were deeper, starting from his sternum and curling down to his belly button. He moaned at the burning of the cuts and the warmth of his blood dripping down his skin. It was still too shallow to really damage him and he was barely bleeding that much, but it sent shudders through his body. It was a taste of Ryan’s darkness, stinging on his skin like sun-heated metal. Ryan’s fingers brushed through the new swelling of blood, smearing it down his skin as he hissed in pain. 

“So beautiful,” Ryan murmured, “Bloody, face twisted, body tensed. You’re so delectable when you’re in pain.”

The knife pressed back to his throat, putting pressure there, but not cutting him. His breathing caught in his throat as he refocused in Ryan’s cold eyes.

“Lay back and spread your legs, slut,” Ryan growled.

Jeremy carefully lowered himself to the bed, struggling to brace himself on his tied arms and get his legs out from under him. Once they were out and spread, he looked back at Ryan, trembling as the knife trailed over his cock again. Ryan rubbed his free hand over his own boner.

“God, you’re fucking hot like this,” he groaned, “Shaking and scared, but so fucking hard for it. I could watch you squirm for hours.”

“P-Please,” Jeremy whimpered.

“Please what?” Ryan taunted voice dark, “What do you want? You should be specific or I might misinterpret.”

The knife trailed down over Jeremy’s balls and pressed against Jeremy’s asshole. Not enough to tear the panties, but enough to _imply_ something. Jeremy groaned, hands tightening into fists on the sheets under him.

“N-No, w-want you,” he mumbled brokenly, “P-Please I-I want y-your cock.”

Ryan gripped the lacy fabric and cut through it, tossing aside the ruins before leaning over him.

“I need a sheath for my knife while I get you ready, do you have a suggestion?” He questioned lightly, smirking at Jeremy squirming below him.

Jeremy opened his mouth as his body flushed with a fresh surge of arousal. Ryan placed the knife gently in his mouth and Jeremy closed his teeth on the blade to hold it. He swallowed, feeling sparks of heat on his lips and tongue where they touched the flat of the blade. Ryan rubbed lube over his asshole before pressing a finger inside him. 

Jeremy shook with fear over the blade in his mouth, considering how much damage it could do if he dropped it into his throat. Ryan fingered him slowly and deeply, likely trying not to jar him too much. His other hand closed around Jeremy’s cock, matching the pace of his fingers. Then he leaned back over Jeremy and closed his own mouth on the handle of the knife as though to ensure it didn’t fall.

Jeremy stared up at him with wide eyes and Ryan stared back. Some how it seemed the perfect metaphor. Ryan held all the power in their relationship. If he wanted to, he really _could_ destroy Jeremy. He could ruin him. But he wasn’t going to. Jeremy knew he would never really hurt him. He held all the power because Jeremy trusted him to. Jeremy trusted him truly and completely, even more than he had before.

Ryan pulled back when he determined Jeremy was ready and flipped him over. Jeremy hissed as his cuts rubbed against the sheets, unable to lift up with his arms tied. New waves of stinging pulsed hotly through him and he groaned as Ryan gripped his hips, getting his ass in the air. 

Jeremy looked over his shoulder at him as he got his cock out, noting that Ryan looked fucking hot with a knife in his mouth. He shuddered at the image as Ryan pressed his cock up to his asshole. He groaned around the knife and his face drew up as he pushed inside him. He always looked like it felt just as good as the first time. Jeremy doubted that, but felt extremely flattered anyway. 

He spat the knife into his hand as he pushed fully inside him and pressed it on the small of Jeremy’s back. He made six cuts in two separate shapes.

“Seems dangerous,” Jeremy grunted, “Carving your initials in me.”

“You love it,” Ryan sneered.

Jeremy buried his red face in the sheets.

“Didn’t say I didn’t,” he mumbled.

Ryan gripped his hip and leaned over to grip the back of his neck, pressing him more firmly into the mattress.

“You don’t have to say anything,” he whispered in his ear, “I know what you want, what you need.”

He pressed his hips harder against Jeremy, pushing them so hard together that Jeremy’s thighs shook.

“Don’t worry, baby,” Ryan breathed, “I’ll give it to you.”

He pulled back and jerked forward. Jeremy groaned, thighs flexing as Ryan thrust sharp and deep into him. He shifted slightly and thrust again. Jeremy cried out as he rubbed roughly over his prostate. 

“There we go,” Ryan groaned as he began thrusting quicker, “You f-fuckin’ squeeze me so good when I hit that right spot. Goddamn, baby. So fuckin’ good.”

Jeremy felt waves of warmth at the praise and waves of hot electricity as Ryan fucked into him quick and hard. He moaned and cried, his whole body buzzing with pain, pleasure, and heat. Ryan pressed against the back of his neck harder.

“Filthy fuckin’ slut,” he growled, “You love bein’ where you belong, bein’ my little bitch, takin’ what I give you. Who do you belong to, bitch?”

“Y-You!” Jeremy cried, “I-I belong to you!”

“Yeah, y-you do, you’re mine,” Ryan panted as his pace picked up further, “You belong only t-to me. Y-You’re my bitch, m-my beautiful little slut.”

He pressed a gentle kiss to Jeremy’s ear.

“My little sweet pea,” he whispered. 

Jeremy blushed, jarred slightly from the moment. _He never calls me that while we’re fucking._ Of course he was fucking Jeremy too brutally for him to think on it for very long. Then he chomped down on Jeremy’s ear and Jeremy shouted in surprise. He bit down hard enough Jeremy thought he was going to have piercings now. 

His hand went around Jeremy’s cock and Jeremy didn’t last much longer, crying out again as he shot onto the sheets. Ryan was right behind him, groaning as he thrust hard and came deep in Jeremy’s ass. He turned them sideways and untied Jeremy’s hands, pulling him closely to his chest, trying to avoid the cuts as he held him through his usual cry session. He ran his hands over Jeremy’s arms and whispered reassurances as he settled down.

“You with me, sweet pea?” He murmured.

“I’m here,” Jeremy mumbled tiredly.

“Good, we need to clean you up,” Ryan announced, sitting up, “You’re so bloody right now.”

“And jizzy,” Jeremy agreed as he followed him up.

Ryan retrieved a rag and wet it in the sink. Jeremy sat on the edge of the bed while he kneeled in front of him, wiping up the dried blood. He grimaced at the one he’d cut a little deeper than the others. 

“Think it’ll scar?” Jeremy muttered.

“I don’t think so,” Ryan answered hesitantly.

“Awe, that’s a shame,” Jeremy lamented.

Ryan looked up at him, shaking his head.

“You are seriously dangerous,” he snorted.

Jeremy grinned at him.

~

“The bloody hell happened to your ear?” Gavin questioned.

Jeremy looked up from the blueprints.

“I was attacked by a wild animal,” He deadpanned.

Ryan threw him a dry look from across the room. 

“Are you seeing the same guy?” Gavin wondered, squinting at his ear, “Or is it a different guy?”

“Same guy,” Jeremy muttered, going back to memorizing the blueprints.

“What’s he like?” Gavin asked, poking at his ear.

“He’s a biter,” Jeremy snorted, batting his hand away.

“Obviously,” Gavin huffed, “Tell me more.”

“Why?” Jeremy grunted.

“I wanna know if we should worry,” Gavin answered, “Is he a good guy?”

Jeremy snorted.

“Something like that,” he muttered.

“Is he decent at least?” Gavin pressed, “You’re not with some abusive asshole again are you?”

“Again?” Ryan prompted.

“He wasn’t _that_ bad,” Jeremy grumbled, “And it’s not like I was with him that long.”

“I dunno, a year is pretty fucking long,” Michael snorted.

“Nine months is not a year,” Jeremy protested.

“Might as well be,” Michael insisted, “When you’re with someone like him.”

“When did this happen?” Ryan wondered, “Where was I?”

“I was still on b team,” Jeremy explained, “I’m not sure we’d even officially met yet.”

“Wait, I remember that guy!” Geoff suddenly chimed in, “You chewed him out in front of everyone at that stupid Christmas party we went to. Uhh, fuck, what was his name?”

“Benny,” Jack supplied, “Looked like he was going to have an aneurysm when you tore into him.”

“So what, everyone was there but me?” Ryan grunted.

“You were insistent you didn’t want to go to the party,” Jack answered, “You and Ray both skipped. But we had b team members fill in. Jeremy, Matt, and Lindsay I think?” 

“Yeah, we ended up not being all that helpful,” Jeremy admitted, “But that was the breaking point with Benny. I got tired of his insistence on dominating every part of my life.”

He flipped the blueprints over and started drawing them from memory. 

“The biter, is he like that guy?” Ryan asked quietly.

Jeremy’s eyes flicked over to him. His face was twisted with worry, though he kept his eyes on his work.

“No, he knows what parts of my life he’s allowed to dominate,” Jeremy assured, “I was joking earlier. He _is_ a good guy, even if he’s a sadist and a bit of an idiot.”

Ryan’s eyes met his and his face went pink. 

“Oh that reminds me,” Gavin spoke up again, “Ry, how’s it going with blue guy?”

“Yeah, Ry, how’s it going with blue guy?” Jeremy repeated, grinning widely.

Ryan’s blush deepened and he looked back at his work.

“I’m still an idiot around him, it would seem,” he muttered.

“Everyone’s an idiot around the one they like,” Gavin snorted, “Did you tell him you want to be his boyfriend yet?”

Jeremy’s eyebrows went up and Ryan stiffened.

“Not everyone does romantic relationships, Gavin,” He grumbled, “Dunno how many times I have to tell you that.”  


_Right. Some people don’t do emotional attachment._ Jeremy stifled the urge to sigh. That was fine. He was okay with not being Ryan’s boyfriend. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that Ryan could find someone else to be romantic with. He didn’t want him to. He selfishly wanted to be everything to Ryan. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy has to get a rabies shot.


	12. Chapter 12

“Ry, how do you feel about, fuck, some public playing?” Jeremy grunted.

“Public?” Ryan huffed, “Like what?”

“Like a remote control vibrator or something,” Jeremy muttered breathlessly, “Take me out somewhere like dinner or something.”

Ryan was quiet a brief moment.

“You want to do that?” He murmured, voice strained, “You’re comfortable with that?”

“Y-Yeah, I wanna do it,” Jeremy assured, “That’s why I brought it up.”

“Okay,” Ryan agreed, “I’ll think something up for you. This is the last one.”

He shifted the body better into the circle. They moved around the circle, adjusting the bodies to be neater. Then Ryan wrote the message Geoff had given him with blood in the center of the circle.

“This is a bit comic book villain even for us,” Jeremy muttered, wiping his hands on his jeans.

Ryan pulled off the mask, swiping sweat off his forehead.

“Geoff thinks we’ve been too subdued lately,” he snorted, “People starting to act disrespectful. Sounds like someone I know.”

Jeremy stuck his tongue out at him, not at all noting how hot Ryan looked with the black paint running down his cheeks. 

“So mature, Rimmy Tim,” Ryan laughed.

“As if you’re the picture of maturity, Vagabond,” Jeremy countered, rolling his eyes.

Ryan stuck his tongue out at him.

The truth behind the request for public play was that Jeremy wanted to go on a date with Ryan. He really wanted to go somewhere with Ryan, hold hands maybe and spend time with him. Like a boyfriend.

He should’ve known better than to expect the date to be like a real date. 

First of all, Ryan had tied him up on silky purple rope. The rope went over his shoulders, down his torso, and across his pelvis and thighs. He’d strategically made sure the rope rubbed his nipples, his taint, and the sensitive skin around his junk. Jeremy felt like he was being rubbed all over, especially when he walked. It didn’t help that the deeper cuts weren’t fully healed yet, adding a tiny bit of stinging to the rubbing.

Secondly, the plug Ryan got him didn’t vibrate, it shocked. He’d made sure to demonstrate the capabilities of the thing before he’d let Jeremy get his clothes back on, watching him squirm with a downright evil grin. Then he assured him there was no set pattern for it, meaning what he chose to do would be spontaneous and Jeremy would never know what would happen when. _Asshole._

The final thing to make it less like a date more like torture was a cock sleeve. Jeremy had never worn one before and hadn’t really thought about what they’d feel like. The answer was good, it felt good. It felt like he was being held by someone’s hand, but over his whole cock. Very rarely having his dick fully in anything was not helping him keep his focus on the date. It was essentially forcing him to keep a boner the whole time. 

“Stop touching it,” Ryan muttered.

“I can’t help it,” Jeremy mumbled, readjusting for the hundredth time since they’d entered the museum.

_ Bzz. _

Jeremy jolted as a shock was sent up his ass. 

“Ry!” He huffed.

“Baby,” Ryan snorted, “Give me your hand.”

Jeremy let him take his hand and gripped his sleeve with the free one in an effort to stop touching himself. He was basically hugging Ryan’s arm as they walked through the museum. Well, Ryan walked, Jeremy had adopted a sort of waddle.

“Why here anyway?” He wondered.

“This place as the best collection of Ancient Greek ceramics in the area,” Ryan answered.

Jeremy looked up at him with raised eyebrows as they entered a room with just that. Rows of Greek style vases filled the room with only two other people walking through them. 

“That’s a lot of vases,” Jeremy commented as Ryan led him toward them.

“Ancient Greek pottery was actually fairly durable,” Ryan murmured, “In comparison to most other artifacts of the time, anyway. There’s a full Wikipedia article on Ancient Greek pottery alone.”

“You’re not gonna make me read it, are you?” Jeremy grumbled, hand moving off Ryan’s arm.

He started to reach for himself again, rubbing his thighs together. The rope around him rubbed him gently as he squirmed.

_ Bzz. _

He jolted, putting his hand back on Ryan’s arm as they stopped in front of the vases.

“No, I’m not,” Ryan answered, “I assume this will be quite boring for you.”

“I’m with you,” Jeremy argued, “Nothing’s boring when you’re around.”

“Yes, well I did outfit your entire pelvis to make sure you wouldn’t get bored,” Ryan snorted.

“That’s not what I meant,” Jeremy mumbled, thighs shifting again, “I meant I like being around you.”

“That’s because you’re a slut,” Ryan insisted.

“No, I just meant _you,”_ Jeremy dismissed, “I like you, even if you are an asshole.”

His hand moved off Ryan’s arm.

_ Bzz. _

He whined, legs shifting as he practically stamped his feet. He put his hand back on Ryan’s arm. 

“What’s all the different shapes for?” He huffed.

“Different ones had different purposes,” Ryan explained as they moved down the row, “Amphorae, the one with the handles, were for storing and transporting. Mostly oil and wine. They were made to be able to pour.”

He pointed out one as they stopped in front of it. Then he pointed to a thin vase beside it.

“Lekythoi were used in funerals,” He continued, moving down the line, “Kraters were for mixing, usually diluting wine. Pithoi were similar to amphorae, but bigger.”

“I guess I should’ve guessed that,” Jeremy muttered, “I suppose we have all sorts of storage containers of different shapes now too. I guess I just expect ancient stuff to be simpler.”

Ryan led him through the rows, pointing out the different vase shapes and telling him all sorts of facts about pottery creation. He seemed mostly unsure about the paintings on pottery, except more vague ones that depicted rituals or everyday activities. They had to read the plaques for the more involved ones with mythological figures on them. It was almost like a real date, except for the rope and the plug and the sleeve continuously touching Jeremy in all his sensitive spots, making him sweat and buzz with arousal.

By the end, he could barely keep himself upright with how keyed up and shaky he was. 

“R-Ry,” he squeaked when they’d reached the end, “P-Please c-can we now? We-We saw all the-the pottery.”

Ryan put his arm around his waist to guide him from the room while Jeremy gripped at his own jacket shakily.

“We did and you were so well-behaved,” He praised in his ear, squeezing his hip, “I’m gonna reward you very well, Jeremy.”

Jeremy shuddered and let Ryan take over getting him to the car. Ryan guided him into the passenger seat and buckled his seat belt for him. Jeremy gripped at his jacket as he started to pull away, whimpering.

“Shh, you’re alright, sweet pea,” Ryan soothed, running a hand through his hair, “I have to get in the driver’s seat. I’ll go around front so you can still see me, okay?”

“O-Okay,” Jeremy mumbled, letting go of Ryan’s jacket.

Ryan smiled and kissed the tip of his nose before pulling away and closing the door. He went around to the front, but since they were parked against a wall, Ryan had to slide over the hood to get to the other side. Jeremy blushed, heart fluttering in his chest. Ryan was so good to him, even when he was an asshole. _Especially_ when he was an asshole. 

Ryan let him grip his sleeve as he started driving. 

“You’re alright, we’ll get back soon, sweet pea,” he assured him, patting his hand gently.

Jeremy was on fire. His body pulsed with need.

“R-Ry, please,” He huffed, “S-Stop somewhere, please. I-I need you.”

Ryan glanced at him hesitantly.

“No, we’re going home,” He finally dismissed firmly, “It won’t be that long, sweet pea. _Breathe.”_

Jeremy drew a shaky, tearful breath and sighed it out again. 

“That’s it, deep breaths,” Ryan coaxed, rubbing his thumb over the back of Jeremy’s hand, “We’ll be back soon.”

Jeremy whimpered, doing his best to breathe. It took fifteen minutes to get back to Ryan’s place and he was a shaking, sobbing mess by the time they did. Ryan carried him to his bedroom, something that would’ve surprised Jeremy if he wasn’t so far deep into his desperation. 

Ryan pulled his clothes off with little help from him and gently pushed him down on the bed. Instead of taking the plug out to fuck him, he dipped down between his legs. Even through the soft silicone of the sleeve, Jeremy could feel Ryan’s mouth closing on him, the heat and the pressure, though he couldn’t feel the wetness. It still felt amazing as he moved on him, but it wasn’t what he wanted.

“R-Ry, please, I-I want you,” he whimpered.

Ryan pulled up and leaned over him, moving his hand on his cock. He kissed his ear gently.

“I’m rewarding you for being so good,” he murmured, “Just let me take care of you.”

Jeremy fumbled trying to push his hand away.

“M-My reward, sh-shouldn’t I choose?” He huffed.

Ryan pulled up to kiss him lightly.

“Alright, you choose,” He agreed, “How do you want me?”

“W-Wanna come f-from your cock,” Jeremy mumbled, tugging at Ryan’s belt.

A shudder rippled through Ryan and he pulled back further to flip Jeremy over onto his hands and knees. He pulled the plug from his ass and the sleeve off his dick before lubing himself up to push inside him. He groaned as he pressed forward and Jeremy grunted in pain. Really the plug hadn’t been enough to prepare him, but the burning just sent more pulsing arousal through him.

Ryan traced his still visible initials on his lower back a few times. Then he sort of suddenly gripped the rope where it crossed over Jeremy’s upper back and yanked him up onto his fingertips, nearly off his hands completely. Jeremy wobbled a bit in surprise, unbalanced by the sudden change as Ryan started thrusting in him, using the rope as a handle. He almost immediately found Jeremy’s prostate and proceeded to fuck against it with focused motions, intent on giving Jeremy what he asked for. Meanwhile Jeremy could do little but shake and cry.

“Goddamn, y-you feel so fucking good,” Ryan panted, “I thought I was gonna f-fuckin’ lose it in the museum and fuck you over the nearest flat surface y-you were squirmin’ so bad. L-Lookin’ so desperate for my cock. You’d have taken it, right in f-front of anyone who w-walked by, you filthy little slut.”

Jeremy was already so keyed up that he didn’t feel the orgasm coming until it happened, the culmination of hours of stress suddenly bursting out of him as he cried out and went limp. Ryan slammed into him for an amount of time Jeremy couldn’t track or guess before he also came. 

Jeremy was freezing as Ryan laid him on his side, quickly untying the rope to get it off him. He put his jacket around Jeremy as he hurried to clean him up, not moving an inch from his shaking body the whole time, murmuring reassurances. He got him under the covers without removing his jacket. He hesitated a moment, rubbing his bare hand on Jeremy’s arm before he took his shirt off and crawled in next to him, pressing their bare chests together. Jeremy relaxed significantly as Ryan pulled him close, the warm feeling of his bare skin soothing most of the cold.

“What upset you, sweet pea?” Ryan murmured.

“The t-taking it in-in front of others,” Jeremy whispered.

“I...I’m sorry, I knew I shouldn’t have said that,” Ryan muttered, sighing.

“‘S okay,” Jeremy mumbled, “Th-Thank you, um...E-Earlier, not stopping, y-you were right not to. I-It would’ve upset me.”

Ryan’s body relaxed some against him and he kissed Jeremy’s forehead, brushing his hand through his hair. Jeremy bizarrely felt like he’d stepped into an alternate reality. They’d talked. They’d communicated. He pressed his face into Ryan’s chest, taking a shuddery breath.

“Ryan, I-I want to be with you romantically,” He blurted before he could lose resolve again, “I-I want to be your boyfriend.”

Ryan’s hand froze in his hair and he shifted a bit, pulling back just enough to look down at him, not breaking contact. Jeremy looked up at him, face red. Ryan was frowning.

“Is that... _allowed?”_ He grunted.

Jeremy squinted at him.

“What’s with you and the allowed stuff?” He wondered, “Why would-?”

He stopped, looking away. _He thinks he’s only allowed to pursue a sexual relationship with me._

“How many subs have you been with?” Jeremy questioned carefully meeting his eyes again.

“Uh, four?” Ryan answered, “Five including you.”

“And how many of them were you romantically involved with?” Jeremy pressed.

Ryan’s frown deepened.

“Is that...an option?” He muttered, “I thought...I thought dom and sub relationships were always free of emotional attachment.”

“Ry, who the hell told you that??” Jeremy demanded.

_“My_ dom,” Ryan answered, “He told me... _Oh.”_

He looked away, frown easing somewhat as realization dawned on him.

“Oh, I...see,” he muttered, “That...he said it was a rule, but it...was just him, wasn’t it?”

_Oh, Ryan..._

Ryan’s eyes snapped back to Jeremy and he gripped the back of his neck to haul him into a kiss. Jeremy resisted the urge to laugh at the repeated gesture. _What a predictable dork._ He pulled back, running his hand through Jeremy’s hair, smiling warmly at him.

“So...that’s a yes?” Jeremy chuckled.

“Oh, right, s-sorry! Y-Yes, please!” Ryan exclaimed, “Y-Yes, I-I want to be your boyfriend!”

Jeremy puffed out a relieved sigh and buried his face back in Ryan’s chest.

“Oh, thank god,” he huffed, “I was so nervous!”

“Why would _you_ be nervous?” Ryan snorted, “Who could say no to you?”

Jeremy blushed, heart fluttering. _Asshole!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know stuff about Ancient Greek pottery.


	13. Chapter 13

Ryan ducked a kiss from Jeremy the day after they’d become boyfriends. Jeremy felt ice stab through his heart. _What did I do to fuck it up so soon?_ Ryan jerked his chin at Jack at the coffee pot. Jeremy frowned. Weren’t they official now? Why would they still have to hide? Ryan’s face was full of worry again and he guided him to his office.

“What is it, sweet pea?” He murmured, “What upset you?”

“The others...why don’t you want them to know?” Jeremy mumbled.

“You realize if we tell them, they’ll know it was your underwear in my pocket, right?” Ryan pointed out, eyebrows raised.

“I don’t care about that,” Jeremy assured him, “I mean, it’s a bit embarrassing, but it’s not the most embarrassing thing I could think of.”

Ryan looked away, shifting nervously.

“Is this another thing you think is not allowed?” Jeremy questioned.

“No...it’s not that,” Ryan muttered, “I...don’t want them to know.”

Jeremy’s heart clenched.

“Because you’re...ashamed of me or something?” He forced himself to press further.

He didn’t _want_ the answer, but they were big boys now that used their words. They communicated. Mostly. Ryan took his face in both hands.

“I could _never_ feel ashamed to be with you,” he assured him firmly, “You’re amazing...I’m happy. I...really like you.”

He was struggling again, not wanting to talk but making himself for Jeremy’s sake. Jeremy blushed. 

“I...like you too,” He mumbled, “I just...I’m a bit clingy. I...worry you’ll leave me easily if the others don’t know.”

“Me leaving you is very unlikely,” Ryan snorted before kissing him.

Jeremy held his wrists lightly as they kissed deeply. He preferred this over talking about his feelings. But he was glad they did. It was better to immediately address it rather than let it stew like before. 

~

Jeremy realized suddenly on a job that he and Ryan held hands a lot. Before they started seeing each other, they were often holding hands as they ran from cops and explosions. He supposed he should’ve thought that was weird. After all the reason he suddenly thought about it was because he was with Michael, weaving their way back to the car, Michael holding his sleeve to ensure they didn’t lose each other.

But Ryan had always grabbed his hand and Jeremy had always grabbed his. Easily, without thinking. That was significant, wasn’t it? Or was it? Jeremy’s brain was muddied with thoughts of Ryan when he suddenly felt an impact on his back.

“Ah, shit,” he grunted, stumbling, “Th-That’s not good.”

“What’s not good?” Michael grumbled was they made it back to the car.

Jeremy wobbled, starting to fall. Michael caught him.

“Fuck, Rimmy’s hit,” he hissed into the coms.

He quickly opened the door and got Jeremy into the backseat. Jeremy was doing his best to breathe shallowly as a hundred voices screamed in his ear. He was shaking. He hurt so bad. His vision was unfocused. He was alone, he was alone and cold.

“R-Ryan?” He sniffled, “Ry, wh-where are you?”

“I-I’m here, sweet pea, you’re-you’re gonna be alright,” Ryan spoke in his ear, “J-Just stay with me, alright? D-Don’t fall asleep on me.”

“O-Okay,” Jeremy mumbled, “I-I’m cold.”

“Y-You can have my jacket again as soon as I c-catch up with you,” Ryan assured him, “You j-just have to be patient, sweet pea, can you be patient for me?”

“Y-Yes, sir,” Jeremy rasped, “P-Please, don’t-“

“I-I’m not gonna leave you!” Ryan interrupted, “Y-You know I-I would never leave you! D-Don’t I always st-stay with you? N-Now you have to stay too, do you understand?”

“I un-underst-stand,” Jeremy huffed.

The door at his feet flung open and Ryan pulled him out of the car. Jeremy gripped at his shoulders, pain pulsing through him as he tried to hang on and focus on Ryan’s face. Ryan was crying, shaking badly.

“Y-You can’t leave me, I just got you!” He sobbed as he carried Jeremy, “P-Please, stay with me! I-I need you!”

“Wh-Who c-could say no t-to you?” Jeremy croaked.

“Idiot!” Ryan cried.

He stayed by Jeremy’s side in the hospital. They tried to make him leave, but he said he’d shoot anyone who tried to remove him from Jeremy. Jeremy went to sleep at some point, though his heart was squeezing with panic over the idea that Ryan would leave while he slept.

~

“-sweet pea, that’s so adorable.”

Jeremy stirred at the sound of the pet name. It was said wrong though. _Not Ryan. Where is Ryan?_

“Ryan??” He rasped, jerking as he tried to wake himself up quickly.

“Shh, you’re alright, sweet pea,” Ryan soothed, running a hand through his hair, “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Jeremy shivered and Ryan shifted next to him before wrapping his jacket around him. Jeremy relaxed and his hand reached weakly for Ryan as he finally got his eyes open. Ryan took his hand and leaned over him, smiling gently. His eyes were red.

“Think it’ll scar?” Jeremy mumbled.

Ryan’s eyes welled up with tears and he basically fell over him to hug him tightly.

“Aww, they’re so cute!” Gavin squealed.

Jeremy looked around the room over Ryan’s shoulder and saw the rest of his family staring at them. 

“Oops,” he grunted.

“It’s about time this was revealed,” Jack grumbled, “I’ve been sitting on this bombshell for months.”

_ Of course she knew. _

“I can’t believe _you’re_ blue guy!” Gavin exclaimed, “We all thought Ry was totally oblivious to your intentions.”

“He was,” Jeremy snorted.

“I’m right here!” Ryan huffed into his shoulder.

Jeremy’s eyes stung and he quickly buried his face in Ryan’s shoulder. 

“This is so fucking gay,” Michael commented dryly, “I’m out. I’m fucking leaving before the gay infects me too.”

“As if you’re not already infected,” Geoff snorted.

“Are you gay, boi?” Gavin wondered as they all started heading for the door.

“No, I’m not,” Michael grumbled, “But I don’t have to be gay to be attracted to one guy.”

“You have a crush?!” Gavin demanded.

The rest of the Fake AH Crew sighed in exasperation over this idiot. Once they were gone, Ryan pulled back to kiss Jeremy lightly. He dropped his forehead on Jeremy’s. 

“I was so scared,” He whispered, “You almost died.”

“One bullet won’t take me down,” Jeremy scoffed.

“Idiot,” Ryan muttered.

He kissed Jeremy again and Jeremy smiled tiredly at him. 

“Cuddle me?” He requested, “I’m still exhausted and cold.”

Ryan climbed onto the bed with him, turning him sideways so he wasn’t laying on his wound any more. Not that it currently hurt, he was pretty sure he was on the good drugs. He pressed his face into Ryan’s chest, snuggling up to him as Ryan laid his jacket over their waists.   


“Don’t leave me,” Jeremy whispered.

”I wouldn’t dream of it,” Ryan assured him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feelingssssss and idiotssssss


	14. Chapter 14

Jeremy stared at Ryan while he slept a moment, watching his face twisting and his body twitching. He was a restless sleeper apparently. He was never asleep when Jeremy woke up before. Jeremy almost felt like he was invading his privacy. This wasn’t something Ryan _wanted_ to share with him. 

He hesitantly and gently shook Ryan’s shoulder. Ryan’s eyes snapped open and his hand went to Jeremy’s throat. He blinked heavily and quickly jerked his hand back.

“S-Sorry,” he muttered, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Jeremy assured him, “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“I’m...I don’t sleep...around people,” Ryan admitted quietly, “It’s...tactically unsound.”

“Makes sense,” Jeremy agreed.

“Does it?” Ryan wondered.

“Yes, it does,” Jeremy insisted, “You don’t live this life without worrying about that sort of thing. Not very long anyway.”

Ryan relaxed a bit, looking away. 

“Thank you,” He mumbled, “You’re always reassuring me.”

“You do the same for me,” Jeremy pointed out.

He tugged at Ryan’s shirt, looking down at where his hand gripped his shirt.

“What is it, sweet pea?” Ryan questioned, running a hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry...about the others finding out,” Jeremy murmured, “I didn’t mean to.”

Ryan tipped his chin up to make him look at him.

“Don’t be sorry,” He dismissed, “It wasn’t your fault. I’m the one who gave it away. And...I didn’t want them to know for a stupid reason.”

He cupped Jeremy’s jaw, thumb brushing over his cheek as he looked at Jeremy’s lips instead of his eyes. His face was twisted up.

“I...thought you would...leave me soon,” He confessed quietly, “That I would fuck up so fast...I didn’t want to...mess up things, complicate things with the crew too. I thought...you’d be uncomfortable if everyone knew...if everyone was aware of us and...knew when you broke up with me.”

Jeremy gripped his wrist as Ryan finally met his eyes again.

“We’re both fucking idiots, aren’t we?” Jeremy snorted.

“Yeah, yeah we are,” Ryan agreed.

He looked Jeremy’s eyes a moment, a decision being settled in his. Then he pulled his hand away from Jeremy’s face and took Jeremy’s. 

“You knew...the other times, you knew I wasn’t ready,” he muttered as he moved Jeremy’s hand, “But I’m ready now. Please...I want to share this with you.”

He pushed Jeremy’s hand up his shirt, pressing them firmly over his scars. He let go, running his hand up Jeremy’s arm while puffing out a shaky breath. Jeremy hesitated, but Ryan’s eyes were firm, determined, though a bit nervous. He was waiting, worried over Jeremy’s reaction.

Jeremy’s fingers brushed over the wide gashes in Ryan’s side, mostly over his ribs. There was a particularly wide one in the center and smaller ones to either side of it. They were too wide. These wounds had nearly killed him. Really, Jeremy wondered how he could’ve possibly survived them without getting them stitched up. The shape of them though and the placement, it was obvious someone had tried to chop Ryan in half. 

Jeremy’s eyes filled with tears. Ryan immediately pulled his hand out of his shirt and brushed his hand through Jeremy’s hair.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t...realize it would upset you,” he murmured, “I’m sorry.”

“N-No, it’s not like that,” Jeremy dismissed, swiping at his tears, “I-I just...d-don’t like your pain. I don’t want you t-to be in pain.”

Ryan looked away, shifting a bit.

“I...don’t like yours either,” he returned, “When you...when you were crying for me, I-“

He choked, squeezing his watering eyes closed.

“I-I didn’t expect it to f-feel so different from when I hurt you,” he admitted tearfully, “B-But it felt like it was-was t-tearing up my insides.”

He pulled Jeremy back into his chest, burying his face in Jeremy’s hair.

“I-I don’t want you t-to be hurt like-like _this_ again!” he cried.

“No promises,” Jeremy mumbled thickly into his chest.

“Y-You’re supposed to-to lie to make me f-feel better!” Ryan huffed.

“Oh, well, in that case,” Jeremy muttered, “I’ll never get shot again.”

“Liar!”

Jeremy snorted, rolling his eyes.

~

Jeremy rubbed his lower back, wincing as he avoided the wound. Ryan squeezed his hand.

“Are you okay?” He questioned, “We can go home early if you like.”

“We just got out of the car,” Jeremy snorted, “We might as well have not come at all.”

“We shouldn’t have,” Ryan muttered, “You’re still injured. We should go home.”

“Ryan, I’ve been cooped up for three fucking weeks,” Jeremy grumbled, “We’re having this date if it kills me.”

“Jeremy,” Ryan began, adopting his lecture tone of voice.

He’d been using the lecture voice a lot the last three weeks every time Jeremy so much as moved on his own.

“Stop it, Ryan,” Jeremy interrupted, “I know you’re trying to take care of me, but you’re smothering me. I will tell you when I need your help, okay?”

Ryan looked properly scolded.

“Okay,” he mumbled, “I’m sorry. I’m not used to...any of this.”

Jeremy smiled and took his hand.

“It’s okay, I know you’re trying to help,” he assured him, “Now let’s have a date like some sort of normal couple.”

“Ew,” Ryan grunted, wrinkling his nose, “You never said I had to be normal.”

“I said _like_ a normal couple,” Jeremy snorted as they walked into the aquarium, “Not _as_ a normal couple.”

They paid their admission and Jeremy excitedly led the way to the arching glass tank. 

“This is...weird,” Ryan murmured, “Shouldn’t you hate aquariums?”

“Oh, they’re terrifying,” Jeremy agreed, “My heart is going like a million miles an hour right now.”

He watched a sting ray pass over his head and shuddered.

“We’re surrounded by so much water,” he breathed, “What if the glass shattered? I could drown. It only takes one breath of water, you know.”

Ryan cleared his throat.

“Are you...coming onto me right now?” He muttered, “This is way too public for you. I mean, it’s too public even for me.”

Jeremy looked back at him, frowning.

“What-Oh, right, I wasn’t thinking of that,” He grunted, “I just like being scared. Although...”

He glanced back up at the arch. He pictured laying on his back, looking up at the water so close, with just glass between it and him and Ryan between his legs. He flushed.

“Oh, this was a terrible date idea,” he realized.

“Let’s come back after hours,” Ryan suggested, a bit breathily as he squeezed Jeremy’s hand, “I can make sure it’s clear.”

Jeremy looked back at him again. 

“Weren’t you just talking about me being injured?” He muttered dryly.

“Yeah, but you said you were fine,” Ryan dismissed, stepping closer to put his arms around Jeremy, “And it’s been three fucking weeks.”

“What are you, a high schooler?” Jeremy snorted, “Alright. But...”

He tugged at Ryan’s jacket.

“You’ll make sure no one can see me?” He mumbled nervously.

Ryan put his hand under Jeremy’s chin and lifted his face to make him meet his eyes.

“You belong to me,” he whispered, “I will not permit anyone to gaze upon your beautiful body, it’s only for me.”

Jeremy blushed and his heart fluttered. _Jesus Christ, why does that feel so romantic?? And fucking **hot**??_ Ryan kissed him gently. 

“Now let’s finish this fake-normal date so I can begin preparing for the real one,” He grunted, taking Jeremy’s hand again.

Jeremy pressed his hand to his forehead. _This asshole._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow marks the end of both current fics. Woooo.  
> Anyway, these two horny dumbasses.


	15. Chapter 15

“And there we go,” Ryan muttered, “Cameras down.”

He rubbed his hands over Jeremy’s sides where he was sitting on his lap.

“Ready, baby?” He murmured.

Jeremy looked over the blank monitors.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” He confirmed.

“Good, I’m gonna goddamn explode,” Ryan grumbled hoisting him up into his arms to carry him off, “Been thinking about what you were gonna wear for me for days. You looked so cute when you promised it would be special.”

Jeremy blushed, burying his face in Ryan’s neck. Now he was worried it wouldn’t be good enough. 

“Here we are,” Ryan announced.

Jeremy looked up as they passed through a set of curtains. The arching tank was curtained off at either end and a bed was on the floor. Well, an air mattress, but it had a full set of sheets and two pillows on it. Jeremy looked around as Ryan set him down. He’d made sure all the doors couldn’t be opened and walked Jeremy through all of them. He’d no doubt paid off the guards too. 

“What is it, sweet pea?” Ryan asked, brushing his hand through Jeremy’s hair.

“Thank you,” Jeremy mumbled, tugging at his shirt, “You went to so much effort for me.”

“Eh, I wouldn’t say it was just for you,” Ryan chuckled, “I have selfish motiv-Why are you crying??”

He took Jeremy’s face in his hands.

“I-I’m just so happy!” Jeremy cried, “Y-You’re so good to me! You go out of y-your way so much! J-Just to-I’m n-not _that_ good!”

“You _are_ that good, Jeremy,” Ryan disagreed, “You’re beautiful and your ass is...amazing.”

He squeezed Jeremy’s hips.

“And you’re so flexible and durable,” he added, eyes trailing down Jeremy’s body, “And you drop so fully into it so quickly. Like flipping a switch. So obedient and you take whatever I give you. The way you tremble and twist when you’re-“

“O-Okay, okay!” Jeremy choked, “I-I got it!”

“Good, take your fucking clothes off,” Ryan growled, “I need you. _Now.”_

He tugged at Jeremy’s jacket.

“W-Wait, you have to, um, c-close your eyes,” Jeremy mumbled.

Ryan grinned at him.

“You’re adorable,” he cooed, kissing the tip of Jeremy’s nose.

He covered his eyes and Jeremy quickly dropped his clothes. He made sure nothing was bunched up and everything was straightened out.

“O-Okay, you can look,” He murmured, hands twisting nervously.

Ryan dropped his hands, eyes dropping to Jeremy’s lingerie immediately. He reached for the lacy garter belt, brushing his fingers up the straps running up Jeremy’s thighs. Then he traced the outline of the lacy panties before moving to the lace straps circling his thighs.

“You’re right,” he whispered, “These _are_ special. Your thighs look so beautiful in lace. Is the back open?”

“Y-Yes...p-promise not t-to laugh again?” Jeremy squeaked.

“Of course not,” Ryan assured him.

Jeremy turned around. 

“Goddamn,” Ryan hissed, “God-fucking-damn. Why would I laugh?! Oh, fucking _Christ._ C-Can I-?”

His fingers brushed over the bow keeping Jeremy’s panties tied in place. Once untied, the panties could be removed without also removing the garter belt, leaving it framing his ass. 

“You literally wrapped your ass up for me,” Ryan groaned before Jeremy could tell him that yes of course he could untie it, “Like the gift it is. My little present all wrapped up, tied in a cute little bow. I’m gonna fucking _die._ And such a pretty blue. Like little periwinkles.”

_Like your eyes,_ Jeremy didn’t correct.He looked over his shoulder to see Ryan again focused completely on his ass. He smiled lightly. _What a dork._ Ryan gently tugged on the ribbon, untying the bow. The lacy fabric dropped to the floor and Ryan squeezed his ass with both hands. 

“Not that good you said,” he snorted.

He turned Jeremy back around and kissed him firmly before he took off his own clothes. Jeremy watched in surprise as Ryan dropped everything, even his underwear. And _wow,_ he looked good fully naked. Jeremy hesitantly reached for him, looking up at him. He nodded the go ahead and Jeremy’s fingers brushed over his hips. 

Ryan was covered in scars, not just the ones on his side, made by the ax. His legs were even more scarred than Jeremy had noticed before. He supposed he hadn’t been looking very closely. He had a pretty nasty looking slash way too close to his junk for comfort.

“Who tried to cut your dick off?” He wondered, fingers pressing into the scar.

“Someone’s jealous ex,” Ryan muttered, “Might’ve succeeded if they’d gone for it when my clothes were off, the idiot. You like scars?”

“Oh, yes, scars are amazing!” Jeremy chirped, “You look so badass! I know your ax scars are an insecurity for you, but I think they look wicked!”

He brushed lightly over one of the smaller ones.

“And it’s just further proof how awesome you are,” He added, “You survived this, you can survive anything.”

He looked up at Ryan, grinning and Ryan puffed out a surprised laugh.

“You know, even the ones who say they like scars get queasy when they look at me,” He chuckled, “But you really like them, don’t you?”

“Yes, of course!” Jeremy assured him, “Maybe it’s like that thing you said, about finding beauty in the ugly. Something really ugly happened to you, but you survived and you’ve got wicked scars to prove it. I think that’s beautiful.”

Ryan took his face in both hands, giving him a watery smile.

“Oh, sweet pea, what did I do to deserve you?” He whispered.

He kissed Jeremy before Jeremy could try to answer, looping an arm around around him to pull him close. Jeremy felt warmth bloom in his chest as their bare skin rubbed against each other. Ryan was there and he was going through so much to show Jeremy a good time. Which reminded Jeremy suddenly that there was only an archway of glass holding an insane amount of water above his head. He shuddered and Ryan laughed against his lips. He pulled back to sit on the mattress, pulling Jeremy down with him.

“You finally remembered,” He teased as, “We were getting so emotional, I thought you’d never remember where we were.”

He reached over to his jacket to grab the lube while Jeremy looked up at the glass. _So close, only glass._ He shuddered again. 

“Wanna see how many bullets it takes to shatter it?” Ryan offered brightly.

Jeremy looked back down in alarm to see Ryan had brought a gun along with the lube and was pointing it above their heads. It was a six-shooter that Jeremy thought looked odd for some reason. He couldn’t see at that angle if it was loaded. Ryan passed him the lube.

“Get to work, bitch,” he ordered in a low growl, “I’m tired of waiting. Better make it quick.”

He wiggled the gun pointedly. Jeremy quickly got lube on his fingers and reached around himself. Ryan’s free hand traced over the lace on Jeremy’s thigh before the gun moved and the muzzle ran up Jeremy’s throat. A spark fired through Jeremy, sending a shiver up his spine and hot lust through his body. The muzzle dragged up over Jeremy’s chin and nudged against his lips. The odd thing about the gun was that it had no sight on it. Which was great if, for example, you wanted to put the gun in your mouth without getting torn up.

Jeremy thought later that maybe it should concern him how quickly he opened his mouth. As soon as the muzzle pressed to his lips, he opened wide to accept it, gripping the hand holding it. It was Ryan’s hand after all, not that he gave it that much thought at the time. Or any really. He just did it, despite the sparking fear that shot out from his mouth from having a loaded gun in his in it. That was the beauty in trusting someone so completely, he guessed.

“Are you scared, Jeremy?” Ryan breathed.

Jeremy wanted to cry an affirming answer, but assumed the gun was acting as a gag as well, that he wasn’t actually allowed to talk. Ryan wrapped his hand around Jeremy’s cock. Jeremy groaned around the hard metal in his mouth. Ryan watched him struggle between dealing with the fingers in his ass, the gun in his mouth, and the hand on his dick. His eyes were as cold and unforgiving as the gun on Jeremy’s tongue. Jeremy moaned, rolling his hips between his fingers and Ryan’s hand as he moved his head to suck the barrel of the gun like a cock.

“God, you’re a filthy slut,” Ryan huffed, “Look up, Jeremy, don’t forget where we are.”

Jeremy looked up at the glass above him as tears slipped out of his eyes. Fear and arousal pumped through him, hot in his blood as his movements became more frantic. He _needed_ to get off now. He tried to say Ryan’s name around the gun.

“Ready?” Ryan guessed.

Jeremy nodded then chased the gun as it was pulled away, mouthing at the air as the tang of metal lessened significantly. Ryan pointed it upward again.

“Get on my cock where you belong, slut,” He growled, leaning back a bit to give him room to obey.

Jeremy moaned again as he clumsily took hold of Ryan’s cock to guide it into himself. Ryan gripped his thigh tightly as he slid down on him. 

“Goddamn,” he groaned, shuddering, “You always feel so f-fucking good. Wh-Who do you belong to, baby?”

“I-I’m yours,” Jeremy whimpered as he pressed flush against Ryan.

Ryan rolled his hips up, bouncing Jeremy who scrambled to hold his shoulders for support. Ryan gripped his face in his free hand, fingers digging into his cheeks and shoved his head back, forcing him to look up.

“Eyes up, slut,” He ordered, “Don’t forget how much danger you’re in. It only takes one breath of water, remember?”

He pressed the gun to Jeremy’s throat.

“And this gun is loaded,” he assured him, “So move like you mean it, Jeremy.”

The gun moved to point back up and Jeremy’s hips started moving as he stared up at the water above him. His body thrummed with fear and lust as he rode Ryan’s cock. He felt too hot, too buzzed with electricity. He was on fire, sparking from where Ryan held his jaw tightly.

Ryan didn’t lie to Jeremy. This gun was actually loaded. All Ryan had to do was cock the hammer and squeeze the trigger. One of Jeremy’s hands moved off Ryan’s shoulder to jerk himself off as his pace quickened. Ryan groaned under him, hissing out a string of curses.

“God, look at you sh-shake and cry,” he panted, “You’re so f-fuckin’ scared, but so damn hard f-for it. Y-You’re scared I’ll do this, aren’t you?”

_ Click. _

Jeremy’s head jerked against Ryan’s hold as he cocked the pistol.

“Eyes up,” Ryan snarled, squeezing his jaw harder, “Do as you’re told, bitch or I’ll have to punish you.”

Jeremy moaned, body spasming at the thought of Ryan punishing him.

“You’re such a dirty l-little bitch,” Ryan sneered breathlessly, “Takin’ everything I give you and f-fucking loving it. Maybe I’ll put the gun in your ass next time. Bet you’d like that.”

Based on the ripple of fresh arousal in Jeremy, he thought yes, he _would_ like that. His body was tensing, his motions going clumsy and frantic. 

“S-Still watching like a good little bitch?” Ryan grunted.

“Y-Yes,” Jeremy squeaked.

“Good, I want you to see the glass shatter,” Ryan whispered.

_ Bang! _

Jeremy screamed shrilly as he jerked, coming on Ryan’s stomach. He ducked his head and threw his arms around Ryan who moaned into his chest as he came in his ass.

“Shh, you’re okay, sweet pea,” He soothed breathlessly, “Look up.”

Jeremy looked back up cautiously. The glass wasn’t broken or cracked at all. The gun was loaded with blanks. Jeremy buried his face in Ryan’s neck, sobbing. Ryan moved him around, carefully laying them on their sides and pulling the sheet over them. He cleaned them well enough to not be totally gross and wrapped his jacket around Jeremy before pressing closer, the whole while whispering reassurances. What little cold Jeremy had started to feel was gone in an instant as Ryan’s bare skin pressed against his. _Ryan’s here. He’s with me._ Jeremy relaxed into his arms.

“You with me, sweet pea?” Ryan murmured, running his hand through his hair.

“I’m here,” Jeremy answered.

“You know even if I had shot the glass, it wouldn’t have shattered,” Ryan assured him, “They make these things pretty durable. Not that I _would_ have.”

Jeremy kissed his stupid mouth. Ryan smiled as he pulled back to look in his eyes.

“I love you,” Jeremy whispered.

Ryan stared at him in confusion for a moment, like his brain couldn’t process this. Like he couldn’t comprehend the words spoken to him. 

“Me?” He grunted, pointing at his face.

Jeremy laughed, smacking his forehead.

“Fucking Christ,” he snorted, “Yes, _you,_ ya big dork.”

Ryan took another pause to grasp this before his whole face went scarlet. Then he grabbed Jeremy’s face and kissed him firmly, pushing his hand through his hair. Jeremy smiled. _I guess that means he loves me too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll take “Bad Ideas, Great Execution” for 500.  
> As said on the other fic, Gay cyborgs and playboy Ryan are up next. Wooooo. I hope to see y’all there.   
> As always, may your paths stay lit, little stars~✨!


End file.
